The doubt in drought has found its way out.
I didn't mean for that to sound like a Dr. Seuss book.
Lately, I've been plagued with fear. It's a strange fear this go round; it's not the usual "I might fall off a cliff" fear. This fear is from not having fear...when I should.
Let me explain.
I'm about to embark on a huge journey. If you know me, you're probably thinking, "What's worse than leaving Anchorage, Alaska, for Texas?" Well.... how about the journey into the unknown, but this time, I have no reservations about taking the leap. I'm not worried about a place to stay. I don't boggle my mind with a job. I don't infest my heart with the doubts a normal, sane human would have. Instead, I'm fine.
And THAT is something I ...
Am I so used to chaos that I can't see a truck heading my way? OR have I finally lived long enough to trust myself? I like to think it's the latter, but you never know...right?
I'm at a new stage in my journey. I'm a millennial, 34 (still mentally 19), and I've been homeless; I've lived in my car, I've gone days without food, I've lived almost pay-check to pay-check (almost being gracious, ya girl was barely making it between paydays.) I've moved my life across this country PLENTY of times. My car hates me, I'm sure of it. And I'll be doing it all over again in a few months. Minus the homeless struggle part because I fully feel my world shifting.
Moving on from fear and doubt
I'm stepping into my calling. I'm not fighting. I trust fully in God, the Universe, and my ancestors that this time is different. Let's see if I'm singing this same upbeat tune in two months. <3 Ebony