Monday, February 27, 2017

The 'Just Checkin Inners'

Oh boy, we all have those people in our lives right? The ones who don't plan on having a conversation instead they want  to "check in" which in the end might lead to a "hey I need this from you" type of conversation. I'm not the only one right? I get it a lot, which is why I don't respond to a majority of people. Whether it be on social media or if they have my email or direct phone number. The bigger MY platform gets the MORE the handouts starts-a-comin! The more I bust MY ASS for where I'm at the more people who have NO WORTH ETHIC come knocking on my door.

I'm not a Facebook status! You can't check in with me and expect to get a like.

I've been politely (or I think that I'm being polite) telling the people who have nothing to say that I don't have time for a check in. I'm not a toddler and you aren't my parent, so for me to check in with you makes no sense. On top of that, we aren't even friends for me to check in and vice versa. Most of the people want me to tell them my projects so they are the FIRST to know. Some people if not all take it wrong, do I care? No and here's why. I don't care if they take it wrong or get offended because I only hear from them when THEY need something.

Now when I need something or when I need them to deliver what they promised  it's a ghost town. But when they have a new project whether be a song, album, clothing line, comedic video etc they have the audacity to contact me and pretend like everything is peaches and cream. There comes a time where we all have to say ENOUGH. For me ENOUGH to those who don't even bother to share my posts, books etc. but want me to share theirs. ENOUGH to the fake smiles and questions.

Just be honest and real and maybe I'll help out despite you being a horrible person

I'm all about helping people, I'm now focused on helping people who honestly have a good heart and a great project. I'm no longer in the business of helping those who can't help others around them or who have shitted one me. That door is forever closed and my responses will be bare minimum to none. That door might open if for some reason Papa (God) puts it on my heart, but until then it's closed.

<3 Ebony

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Why I Pray For My Husband, Even Though I Haven’t Met Him Yet

As I heard a group of older women discussing the importance of prayer, one woman was so happy to share that she prays for her husband every day. The other women laughed and said “we knew YOU would” and then she turned to me and asked, “Excuse me, do you pray for your husband daily?” My reply was “I pray for my husband almost daily. I may skip a day or two not on purpose.” She turned to her friends and said “See it’s not strange to pray for him daily or damn near close to it. How long have you been married?” Me “Oh, I’m not married.” The women looked at one another, then to me and said: “How can you pray for a husband you don’t have?” 


I pray for my husband, even though I haven’t met him because one day I will. One day I’ll meet the man of my dreams, the one hand crafted by God just for me. How silly would I be to not pray for him? He’s hurt just like how I’ve hurt. He’s tired of the games just like how I am. It’s also possible that he might be giving up on women and love because of his past experiences. I don’t want him to give up or slowly lose hope. He deserves to have healing just like anyone else, so why not pray for him?

I pray for my husband, even though I haven’t met him because I want him to be strong. Strong in his faith, mentally, physically and emotionally. I want his heart to heal and for him to be able to forgive. I want him to be the best man, the best version of him that God has in mind. I want him to feel the love from my prayers. I want him to get that feeling that someone is watching out for him. I want him to build a self-worth so strong he settles for nothing less than me.

I pray for my husband, even though I haven’t met him because I want him to be so close to God even I have to be right in order to see that he’s the one for me.

I pray for my husband because I believe that he’s out there.

So why do I pray for my husband even though I haven’t met him? It’s simple because I want nothing but the best for him.

<3 Ebony

Thursday, February 9, 2017

The Waiting Game..

Every time I'm in the waiting room, my stomach curls and I'm in pain. I start to sweat and my mind moves at over 100 mph. Every time I have to come in for testing to make sure I'm still clear of my cervical cancer and any other type of cancer, it's nerve wrecking.

Sitting at home waiting over a week to hear whether or not you're still in the clear has to be one of the most horrible positions I've ever been in. This part sucks more over the time I was told that I actually had cervical cancer. The waiting game, I hate the waiting game. What do I do when I have to wait? Twiddle my thumbs? Eat? Sleep? Cry? Pray?

Truth is, I do all those things. 

For the past couple of weeks I've felt like shit. My body has been acting weird, my energy is low and it's not my anemia this time. Then when I go for my doctors appointment to meet my new doctor, she tells me:
 "Oh it's time to do your screening!" 

Why is she smiling? My heart stops, maybe it's back, maybe that's why I've been feeling so down for the past month. How could I forget?  My Papa (God) be with me.

So I did my tests and whatever else she wanted me to do. Then she lets me leave, but not before she happily says:

"If things are in the clear you'll get a notice in the mail and if not I'll call you. 
Should take a week of course. Have a great day Ebony!" 

A week.
I hate that fucking week

Excuse my language but I HATE it. What am I supposed to think for that entire God awful WEEK? I check my mailbox constantly and nothing. I'm constantly staring at my phone dreading the thought of receiving that phone call.  THEN it happens... she calls me... What will she say?:

"Hey Ebony! Your cancer is back!"  or "Hey Ebony! You're in the clear!" 

Why did I have to wait a week? Now the phone is ringing and I don't want to answer it. She said she will call if something is bad. So if I don't answer, does that mean it's not bad? Can I just ignore it? Pretend like I never received a call? Go back to sleep? My God my heart is racing... it hurts. What's going on in my chest? It's like the Indy 500 in there!

So I let it go to voicemail.. I waited and no message was left. I breathed in and out. Then she called AGAIN. This time I got it together. Calling twice in a ROW? Dear God this can't be good. I answered the phone and she said :

 "everything is okay, but you need to do more tests."

I prayed to Papa (God) to thank him. My hands are shaking, my heart is beating fast I need my inhaler. So now I'm going into 4 years clear and cancer free. Wait.. more tests? On what?

Did I mention how I hate waiting a week?
<3 Ebony

Monday, February 6, 2017

To Those Who Body Shamed Lady Gaga

As Gaga was shaking it and giving us all sorts of life during her half-time show some people took to Twitter to express their disgust for Gaga's stomach.

Another tweet had a picture of a can of busted biscuits and said quote "in case you missed what Gaga's stomach looked like during the halftime show" 
Also another tweet that read:  "Gaga, ewe, you could've atleast done some crunches."  which was also deleted.
Since when did having softness, curves, dimples, cellulite etc become disgusting? I love those things and I have all of those things!

I loved Gaga's stomach because that's exactly what mine looks like. She displayed what many women truly look like. No she didn't need to do a few more situps to get that ultimate flat Gigi Hadid tummy. Gaga worked her ass off she gave us LIVE music, singing while dancing (which is NOT easy), played instruments, jumped off all sorts of shit, delivered an entertaining and powerful message of unity and acceptance BUT some people were focused on her stomach?

How about this, those people are projecting. They probably look like that busted can of biscuits and aren't loving of themselves enough to say "screw it I still look good." Sad part about the body shaming is that a majority of it came from women.

Maybe one day we can learn to build each other up and not tear each other down. I for one am a woman's woman meaning I encourage and strengthen those I know and don't know. I am anti bullying and against bringing anyone down because it's to much energy.

Another question WHY IS THE WOMAN'S BODY ALWAYS UP FOR DISCUSSION? People don't attack men as much as women when they gain a little weight or even when they lose some weight. Is it a crime to truly be happy with not looking like a photoshopped person on the cover of a magazine?

I'm into fitness, I love running a good mile, lifting some weights and testing my limits when it comes to my body. With that said, I mean what I said earlier. I have cellulite, that 'Gaga pouch', scars, booty dimples and I love every inch of it, every dimple, every scar, every flab of skin and my belly pouch. And I WORKOUT almost everyday! It's normal and it's SEXY!

To body shame one of the baddest, hardest working, gorgeous, multi talented women in the game is so pitiful. Get it together.

<3 Ebony

Thursday, February 2, 2017

I'm Talking with Chris Tucker

Chris Tucker has a show tomorrow at the Paramount Theater. We talk about his show, getting political, Obama's farewell speech, Rush Hour and more!