Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Dear Anemia

Dear Anemia,

I know why you've come into my life, it's because my body lacks in red blood cells which leads to less oxygen flow throughout my body. Because of you, dear anemia, I feel like crap. I get rejected when I want to give blood because welp I cannot. When it's lady time, I'm at my most miserable time every-time.... why.. because I'm losing MORE BLOOD! Might be TMI, but oh well, we're all friends here. And on a morning like today's, I feel like total shit. I'm already tired, exhausted, stressed beyond belief and the last thing I need right now is for my anemia to kick it into high drive.

Now let's reverse to last night shall we?

Yesterday I had the joy of being in pain all day and night. When I got home from work I immediately took off my smile and went to my bedroom where I laid down for hours. I was dizzy, light headed, my heart was beating so hard it wanted to come out of my chest. My I mention that I also have asthma, so when this happens, I freak out get into a panic attack which then leads to an asthma attack. No matter how many puffs I would take to try and gain some control of my rapid irregular heartbeat, it failed. So I had no choice but to lay there, alone for hours until my body calmed down. I hate when this happens because I'm at my most helpless stage and it's scary.

So dear anemia,  I hate you I truly do. For me, you cripple me and take advantage of the pain and my lack of motion. However, I understand that without you,I wouldn't be who I am. I've been told that anemia can get better, not sure if that's true but if it is I pray for a day when mine will be taken away and I don't get into this manic episodes of pain, rapid heartbeat, fainting and so on.

Until next time, can you take it easy on me? I would greatly appreciate it.

<3 Ebony