Monday, January 30, 2017

All Lives Matter?

All Lives Matter! 

Man that was in heavy rotation when Black Lives Matter started to gain steam and shed light on the injustices of the system. Killing unarmed men and women, adults and children because of what.... 

Self-created fear... 

Fear that was created because the media LOVES to portray different racial & religious groups in a horrible light. The media shows what it wants, and it's up to us to believe it or do our own research. Problem is some people don't want to do research. Instead, they want to get their news from one source and call it a day. Some people even go to one of the most used sites that's not credible aka Wikipedia and seriously use that as proper backing for their arguments.Now All Lives Matter is very quiet; at least on my timeline it is. I don't see these posts like how I did during Black Lives Matter. I don't see people raging and being upset because of the Muslim Ban which is sick and inhumane along with many other things. I've only seen a handful of All Lives Matter posts when it comes to the Muslim Ban. 

 Why so quiet?

Is it because, when certain people were marching and screaming All Lives Matter, it truly means that... well All Lives Matter because you're trying to make Black Lives Matter? Is it because most of the All Lives Matter crowds were nervous because their superiority was quickly being taken from under them and they were not the center of attention? If we can be honest and serious, we truly know why All Lives Matter was created and what it means. 

Banning Muslims...

My Papa (God) how does my heart hurt. How dare he ban anyone when it comes to America? Land that was STOLEN from Native Americans, their women raped and beaten, men killed, children sold into slavery. Banning a group of people because you fear they are terrorist, when history clearly states that Europeans are the real terrorists when it comes to America is sickening. Coming to a land that stole, raped, murdered, enslaved, devalued humans has the audacity to BAN Muslims? Statistics show that immigrants aren't the issue when it comes to crime in this country. It's not rocket science to understand that we have a problem here at home with one another. We kill more of our own then those who come into this country legally or illegal. The level of ignorance and uneducated people in the world is amazing to me. 

So All Lives Matter

We all should be treated equally.
We all deserve a chance at a greater life. 
We all deserve to live without fear. 
We all deserve a chance. 

I'm doing my part to help my fellow brothers and sisters with not just my physical action, but I'm praying heavily. No one deserves to be treated like this. I've been treated like this and shit, I still am treated like I'm less than, unequal, unwanted the list goes on. You are not alone, that's what I want my Muslim family to know. There are people who are against this ban and we do not condone this. You are loved and you are wanted, you are worthy and you are appreciated.

<3 Ebony

I also have to throw in there, that the amount of love from the SAG Awards was amazing!

Friday, January 27, 2017

Groupon Coupons!

This is a sponsored post. All opinions are mine.

After the holidays, spending all that money on our family, friends, co-workers neighbors etc., we could use a break right? Most importantly our wallets could use an even bigger break. Why not do what I do and shop with Groupon Coupons!

They have various coupons for places that we go to daily like Target, Starbucks, PetSmart, Bass Pro Sho
ps, Toys ‘R’ Us, just to name a few places. My best friend has her four-year wedding anniversary coming up and I know that they love Olive Garden. I was able to score them an amazing gift card and saved money on my end too. Groupon Coupons are not only perfect for everyday life but for present shopping. Maybe you know someone who wants that fancy belt from Fossil or Bloomingdale’s, or a television from Samsung! Using Groupon Coupons can help you save up to 80% off of those clothing items and up to $1,000 off a Samsung television.

As we start to kick it into high-drive and tackle on spring, now is the time when most of us are planning spring break or our summer vacations. Planning ahead and saving the most money possible is key to an amazing vacation. Groupon Coupons makes it so much easier to take that amazing trip that we’ve always wanted to take with Orbitz Worldwide and they can help us book the perfect hotel with deals from and more. With deals that are a total steal from Groupon Coupons, you might book more than one vacation and you’ll still save a ton of money.

Personally, I’m big into fitness, fashion and health, so using my Groupon Coupons to go to GNC or since I just moved, using my Groupon Coupon for World Market comes in handy. Not only do I save between 30- 80%  off with some coupons, my GNC coupon offers cash back! So I’m saving money and at times I’m also getting money in return, how cool is that?

Part of my New Year’s resolutions were to save money and thanks to my Groupon Coupons, I can do that. Let’s take 2017 by storm, save money, life happier and make the most out of life.

Thanks for stopping by! I hope that Groupon Coupons will be just as amazing for you as it is for me. Follow me on social media and tell me about your experience with Groupon Coupons!

Monday, January 23, 2017

Insecurities or Intuition?

After listening to a friend of mine this morning, she was venting, her voice was shaky she was scared of the man who was coming into her life. She was finding every reason to call it off and not answer another phone call or text message. She had so many excuses, she brought up so many exes and situations, then her body image issues the list goes on. I was listening to my friend cry intensely about her insecurities that she was projecting on a wonderful man. Twisting a situation to make it seem real. And she kept saying "It's my intuition."

Then it hit me: It's not her intuition that's telling her to dip, dodge and get the hell out of town. It's her insecurities. 

Then I came to this thought, how many of us truly know the difference between the two? My friend didn't know the difference until I pointed out what she told me. Then she sat quietly and said "What am I doing? I almost ruined a chance at something real."

In my exciting journey of being single, I discovered the different voices that belong to my insecurities and the other that belongs to my intuition.  For me, intuition never steers me wrong, but insecurities will lead me into hell and back ending in misery! Insecurities will have me making decisions erratically. It puts me in a panic mode, then the world seems like it's falling all around me. Not to mention that it makes me look silly in the end of the situation.

I do want to say, that seeing obvious red flags is way different than an insecurity. For me, I was abused in my previous relationship(s) so when I see red flags of a man who expresses a certain type of anger, acts strangely on alcohol, shows some type of aggression towards me if we're in a disagreement; those things I won't ever ignore. Because I've ignored them in one relationship and let's just say it wasn't pretty. And when I was optimistic in the others that showed the same thing, the end result was the same, abuse. 

For me an insecurity used to be when I would start talking or getting to know a guy, he turns out to be fabulous and I..... well... here's an example: "He's fabulous! Why would he want me? He has to be talking to a million other ladies. There's no way he truly means what he says to me. I don't look like that girl, the one whose picture he liked on Instagram. Etc." 

Why? Because of all the past hurts, I would doubt that someone would want me, love me, or truly want to get to know me without the 'perks'. In the end, thinking that way only blocked my blessings and chances at something real. 

I'm far over that now. I'm not fazed by much. I keep it moving if I receive a red flag, or if I don't have peace from Papa (God) about the guy. I don't stress or worry because if it's truly meant to be, I won’t be stressed or worried. Papa has to remind me of that a lot of times because I want love and to be genuinely loved.

I want you to take your time, get to know who you are. We grow every day and what we want in a partner changes from time to time until we truly get into a place of peace with ourselves. Take time to understand when it's your insecurities knocking at the door or your intuition.

<3 Ebony 

Friday, January 20, 2017

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Dear Anemia

Dear Anemia,

I know why you've come into my life, it's because my body lacks in red blood cells which leads to less oxygen flow throughout my body. Because of you, dear anemia, I feel like crap. I get rejected when I want to give blood because welp I cannot. When it's lady time, I'm at my most miserable time every-time.... why.. because I'm losing MORE BLOOD! Might be TMI, but oh well, we're all friends here. And on a morning like today's, I feel like total shit. I'm already tired, exhausted, stressed beyond belief and the last thing I need right now is for my anemia to kick it into high drive.

Now let's reverse to last night shall we?

Yesterday I had the joy of being in pain all day and night. When I got home from work I immediately took off my smile and went to my bedroom where I laid down for hours. I was dizzy, light headed, my heart was beating so hard it wanted to come out of my chest. My I mention that I also have asthma, so when this happens, I freak out get into a panic attack which then leads to an asthma attack. No matter how many puffs I would take to try and gain some control of my rapid irregular heartbeat, it failed. So I had no choice but to lay there, alone for hours until my body calmed down. I hate when this happens because I'm at my most helpless stage and it's scary.

So dear anemia,  I hate you I truly do. For me, you cripple me and take advantage of the pain and my lack of motion. However, I understand that without you,I wouldn't be who I am. I've been told that anemia can get better, not sure if that's true but if it is I pray for a day when mine will be taken away and I don't get into this manic episodes of pain, rapid heartbeat, fainting and so on.

Until next time, can you take it easy on me? I would greatly appreciate it.

<3 Ebony

Friday, January 13, 2017

Slowly Drifting

Do you ever want it all to stop? The world I mean, to just stop so you can breathe? So you can take in the wonders of the world and look at all the beauty that Papa (God) has created? So you can sit in silence and just enjoy your breakfast without your phone going off, or people at your door, or maybe even the people that you live with bothering you?

I want time to stop when the sunrises. When it's that beautiful color of heaven. You know, the purple, orange and yellows that dance in the sky as if they're doing the Rumba. Slowly and sexily swaying side to side. Taunting the sun because, they're playing in the abyss; while he slowly rises and is forced to watch their romance as he comes up alone. Then once he does rise, they slowly sway their hips left and right until they disappear waiting for their moonlit dance later on that evening in the stars.

I like that time of day because the birds sing quietly. It's soft, not alarming but just enough to take your mind to this place of peace. Then on some mornings, you can catch the wind whispering in your ear. She's seductive that one, so smooth with her words and light whistles as she passes your ears and plays in your hair. If you're lucky you can catch a mama feeding her babies. Might be a squirrel, or a bird and in my case I saw a coyote one morning. They all hunt in silence as their young sleeps. They leave quickly and come back just in time when they stretch their little legs. it's quite beautiful.

That's when I want time to stop the most. I love to watch, take it all in and be lost in the scene. I slowly drift away in the beauty that is peace and love. When I watch in the morning, that's when I understand what love and creations are all about. That's when I'm inspired the most. That's when I workout, that's when I read the best and that's when I'm able to relax.

Slowly attention span is weird. Some days it's on, others I'm like a toddler in a room full of shinny things and loud noises. Ultimately, I'm a drifter. A dreamer. Someone who can get lost in a world of her imagination at any point of the day, at any time and in any situation. I have visions of a life of peace and I get sad when I get out of those visions because I'm truly not at peace. I pray to Papa for it, and I'm patiently waiting. I pray to Papa for some sign, help, anything so that I will be okay. The only place that I am okay in... is that in my head. The dreams. The imagination. The writing.

Writing is life for me. It's the blood that goes through my veins. And my heart, that strong beast, she is imagination. Without the two I am nothing... but a loner... one who has no idea what it's like to drift away in peace. Or dance in the colors of the sky. I would simply be a book with no pages or words. Just a hard cold cover, wondering what life is about.

<3 Ebony

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Last Night Lead to a Breakthrough

Last night, I was writing in my prayer journal  for protection over my heart. Then Papa (God) directed me to a few bible verses. I stopped writing and looked up the following:

Romans 12:18 if it's possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 

Col 3:13: bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

1 John 4:16 and so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God and God in them

It was revealed to me that my heart is weak.

I said:
"Papa I know this, that's why I need your protection." 
He said:
"No, it needs to learn to forgive so it can grow in love and in return you can love and properly receive love."

My entire prayer changed. The Holy Spirit showed me that I still needed to be praying for forgiveness. I have forgiven some people in the way of, if I see them again I'm not bothered or I can be in the same room and go on about my life. I have yet to forgive them in a sense of praying for them. I still have certain people in a choke-hold, so Papa how do I  release them so I can be free? The answer was simple I still need to work on forgiveness and it's true meaning.

Man, forgiving is hard! How can I do that? What's the best way to get through to me? Music, Papa lead me to some of my favorite worship songs.

 You Make Me Brave- I always breakdown at the chorus of this song. He wanted me to listen to this because HE makes me brave. HE will protect me.. And with HIM I'll be okay.

 Holy Spirit- I'm a cry baby at the first sound of the beat. I was lead to this one because the Holy Spirit wanted his time with me.

I was a mess after last nights intimate session with Papa. I've never cried so hard, felt so weak and yet empowered. I forgot what it was like when I made time for Papa, talked with Jesus and asked the Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance. I was back in a place much like where I was in Texas. In my room, music loud, crying out, reading, writing and being still. Man did it feel good.

<3 Ebony

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Happy New Year!

Why hello love! Happy New Year! I hope you brought it in, in an amazing way.

As we start 2017 some might have resolutions, others are going to wing it and some are like Mr.Scrooge and "bah humbug" it. A part of me wanted to do all those things. Then as I sat in my house, getting dolled up for New Years Eve, I had a moment with God, Papa as I call him that I would love to share with you.

We talked about everything that I had overcome and accomplished in 2016. All the negative and rude people that I encountered along the way and how it strengthened me. All the doubt that people around me created when it came to my goals of graduating college and so much more. We talked about my journey of FORGIVENESS to ALL that have hurt me and some that are continuously trying to hurt me. I have to admit, talking to Papa ruined my make-up but for him, it's worth it.

I promised myself that after an amazing self growth phase that 2016 was for me, that in 2017 will be full of more growth.

For you, I pray that all your resolutions and deepest desires come true. I hope that you concur that fear, step out on a limb and chase your dreams, find self love within yourself and love this great thing called life.

A good friend shared this scripture with me :

Isaiah 40:30: 
 but those who hope in the Lord

will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.