We've all heard it before; forgiveness is an essential part of life. Forgiveness is not for the other person; it's for you and so on. How many of us believe that is the truth the first time we heard it? Now, how many of us believe it to be true after we chose to forgive?
I would say, that at first in this journey of life, I wasn't quick to forgive. Instead, I would marinate like a steak overnight; I would sit in a pit of sadness which would lead to anger and then irrational thinking. I would allow myself to be overtaken by this feeling of grief all because of someone else. Then I would have excuses as to why I felt this way; it was always because so and so did this or that. The truth is, yes so and so did this and that and yes they hurt me and yes they scared me and yes it has caused me to have my guard up. I cannot control what someone else does; however, I can control what I do next and what happens after that. Everything that happens after we've been hurt happens because of the next card we pull from the deck. You can sit in sorrow, you can be mad and pissed off at the world, but what does that bring to you after? More hurt, shame, hate? Is it truly worth it?
That is why people say to forgive others because it truly does set you free. Emotions are one hell of a thing to deal with, and they all have consequences. I found that the power of forgiveness was the reason for my current state of mind, success and happiness. I no longer hate the people who hurt me, who lied to me, who back-stabbed me, who cheated on me, who physically assaulted me, who sexually assaulted me, who didn't believe me, who blamed me, who doubted me and who made me feel less than the queen that I know I am now. Instead of hating, allowing my blood to boil to a point of red faces and high blood pressure medication, I choose to pray for them and continued healing of forgiveness in my heart.
It's so easy to be overruled by emotions and self-pity all because so and so did this and that. It's time to love yourself and take charge of your life, and one of those first steps comes from forgiveness. Not for the other person, because you deserve to live the best life possible.