Wednesday, April 27, 2016

10 Questions with All Access :)

This was very fun! I'm glad I was able to do this and give thanks to those who have been a major key in my radio career. Check out my 10 Questions interview with All Access

Monday, April 25, 2016

Beautiful Skin

I'm not sure how many times I want to throw up when I see women of color (any race) who hate their skin. It's no secret that skin bleaching is on the rise, it's always been an issue in the darker skin community. We have years, decades, probably even from the beginning of time have been taught that dark is bad. From all the villains wearing a mask to whispers of nightfall bringing terror, to shaming darker skinned people and the list goes on.

As for me, I love my skin despite being told on many occasions that I shouldn't. I love the lotion I wear, I love not having to get skin cancer just to get a few shades darker, I love the hate that it brings. There is a fear of the dark because something strong typically happens and can overtake you or a situation. I understand, and I am proud of what I was born with.

Logging on today, I see Lil Kim's latest Instagram picture (CLICK HERE) she has been one emcee that I loved when growing up. Her unapologetic nature, sexiness, sass and rhymes to match. Now she is one of many celebrities I don't wish to follow or keep up with. For some reason, I feel as if she hates her skin. Why is she getting lighter and blonder with each picture?  I have so many questions, but instead of asking them; I would rather make sure I accept my skin as beautiful. I pray that as I grow up, I don't let the industry or European standards of beauty get to me. If I am blessed with children one day, I pray I have a little girl and that she loves her skin and everything that she is.

I hear younger children hate on each other; I have grown friends who hashtag "team light skin" and "team dark skin" thinking that it's cute and funny when in reality it creates an even bigger divide between us as people. It's sickening; it sucks, but that's our reality. As for me personally, I cannot find shame in my skin, despite being told that I should. I've been told "wow you are pretty for a black girl you must be mixed", I've been told that I think I'm better than the other black girls because I'm "lighter" (this is from the African-American community), I've been told that I'm very talented, but they want someone who looks different for this radio or TV job (when I go back and check, they hire a Caucasian woman with bleach blonde hair ad no talent). Am I upset? No, instead I am grateful and thank God for who I am and how he made me. I thank God for the strength I have in order to keep going in this crazy, superficial world I live in, and work in.I thank God for the trails because I hate things that are easy, things that come easy tend to be gone just as fast.

Okay, I believe i'm done with my rant. I just want you to know that your skin is beautiful no matter the shade.

<3 Ebony

Thursday, April 21, 2016

Prince the King

As I wrapped up my Prince tribute with "Lets Go Crazy" I can't help but feel overwhelmed with the mass amounts of texts, tweets and direct messages from people saying they loved and appreciated the Prince tribute. I also am not surprised to see the younger generation ask questions of "who is this?" "this is awesome, can you play more of him?"

Music, good music is indestructible. It lives for plenty of generations and makes anyone feel good. It doesn't matter if it's rock, rap, soul, funk, pop, country the list goes on. Prince, I love him to pieces. I would always joke with my auntie that he's my husband and not hers, I would constantly sing him at work and drive my former coworker Latoya crazy. I also said I wanted to hire him for my wedding just for him to say "Dearly beloved."

One thing I hope people get from his passing is the understanding of real music. The knowledge of the art, word play, love, and pain that creates masterpiece after masterpiece.  If you have a great product, stand out a little, have a great sound, it's inevitable that your music and you will live on forever. Look at David Bowie, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, and now Prince (of course the list is way longer than this)

I want artists who are trying to break it in the industry, those who don't truly have their own voice and those just looking around to listen to him. See why Prince is timeless, be daring, take risks, stand out, dress how you feel,  wear eyeliner if you want whatever you do be genuine, because being genuine has a sense of longevity and is ultimately timeless and lives past death.  I hope that some type of recreation can come from this, it won't be the same as the original, and honestly, I don't want it to be. What I do want, is for that love, daring nature, danger, honesty, heartbreak,  the need to breathe and release creative gold and all the other emotions we get from music to come back to life.

My favorite line "I'm not your lover, I"m not your friend. I am something that you'll never comprehend"  - Prince "I Would Die for You."

RIP to my favorite artist of all time Prince Roger Nelson 1958-2016

Wednesday, April 13, 2016


UPDATE on where I'm at with my writing and books:

1st novel "A Crooked Smile" still available and selling strong

I'm revamping and launching my 2nd novel, "I Hate Social Networking" in July 2016!!

I just ordered my 3rd book for proof reading "The Single Chronicles Part 1" (Will be a three part mini series, about 60-100 pages a book, super fun)

AND I have a novel that is completely finished, I can't share details on this one just yet because it's in heavy pitching mode, but it will be released by mid 2017

Lots more to come with my writing adventures, thank you all for the support, encouraging words, criticisms, and love!

<3 Ebony 

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Desired Decades

Who doesn't dream about what they want and where they want to be in life at certain ages? As I was in bed last night, my wheels were spinning on what I want to do and where I need to be. I took the time to appreciate all the trials I went through up until now at age 27, despite all the foolery I love and enjoy my life. So I thought I would share my goals in decade formation with you.

In my teens, I wanted to have fun, do sports, get into trouble, make friends and laugh.

In my early twenties, I started out in trouble, financially unstable, emotional and overworked because I was in my career as a weather forecaster for Fox News KTBY-TV at age 18. I had to be a certain way, couldn't do many things because of who I was and what I was representing.

At 25, I discovered that life is for living and for fun! At this time, I should be thankful that I have had those opportunities to start my career very early, especially without a degree. It was then when I decided to leave the past hurts, hang-ups and habits (stole that from Celebrate Recovery) in the past and enjoy my here and now.

Now at 27, I finally have my BA in Journalism and Mass Communications and I'm taking the bull by the horns when it comes to my finances; by making future goals and taking steps to achieve them. I've located local financial council, will start an IRA soon, buy a passport, close credit cards, and build a savings account.

At 30, I plan to take an international trip for my dirty thirty and if it's in Gods will be fully into my desired career path.

I also have a great plan for my 40s and up, but I will come back when I'm in my 30s and see how much of my list I have accomplished.

What are your goals? Let's make a plan to make things happen! Let's take control of our life and our finances and live the life that God wants for us! Have a great day!

<3 Ebony

Monday, April 11, 2016


Everyone has a story; not everyone chooses to tell their story. For me, I want to tell my stories because I have nothing to hide, I don't mind, and I understand the platform I'm on so it can be beneficial to others. One thing that comes along with this type of transparency is that I open myself up to criticisms and judgment from people who know absolutely nothing about me.

After talking with my father and other great people in my life, they had some amazing words of wisdom when it comes to people hating on you. Now, I've experienced haters before; that is nothing new to me whether it comes because I'm further in my career, or I finished school, or I'm in killer shape and so on; however, I haven't experienced one who has no reason not to like me. . All of which has been exposed to the fact of jealousy, envy, intimidation and insecurity that this other person possess. At first, I didn't believe these things to be true because we are two different people, two different identities and frankly two different unique styles. That was until I spoke with people who know this person, and the things they shared was very insightful.

For me, this is a genuine case of "it's not me it's you."Once I got that through my head, thanks to those around me,  I'm no longer hurt, irritated or upset that this person who knows nothing but chooses to judge; is simply lost and hurting herself. So I cannot blame them for taking everything (even if it's nice) the wrong way, I cannot blame them for sucking their teeth when people comment me, I can't blame them for the eye rolls when people say hi to me, I can't blame them for being an ass because honestly they are so ugly on the inside that's all that shows on the outside.

Being insecure is a serious issue. It ruins relationships, work related, personal, etc. the list goes on. The only thing you can do is kill them with kindness like you've been doing because any other emotion requires too much energy that they don't deserve. Now be warned, that this will make them hate you more, and for that greet with open arms. Here are a few great quotes from my friends and father who I talked to about my experience with someone like this:

"The Lord is testing your strength! Don't let the enemy get the best of you, honey!" - Jo Jo

"Unfortunately, this is a girl who is reverting to childish antics and lashing out at you out of jealousy" - Daddy

"Insecurity leads to pride, which can lead to being opinionated and having to be right. Often accompanied by control issues and low self-esteem which lead one to lash out at positive people" - ND

"Continue to be nice and let God use you" - NS

"You are one of the most amazing persons I have ever met with the best personality and biggest heart, for other who don't have that quality it's hard to like someone who does" -JJ

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

The Wait & My Thoughts

Alrighty! So first things first I've been practicing "the wait" for a while before reading this book. My personal reason for practicing the wait wasn't to wait until marriage if I may be honest. Instead, I'm celibate because I want to know what it's like to feel loved when I do share myself with someone. I want to be with someone who loves me just as much as I love them, and I believe that I'm worth it. Also I suggest reading this book with intention to getting to know yourself better and being open minded to receiving some reality  and letting go of the past. Don't go into reading this and believe that once you're finished that your prince charming will fall out of the sky. That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works! Instead, think about the benefits that you'll have, the new mind, attitude and so on that can come from this book.                                                                                                                                       
I've heard plenty of hype, Meagan and DeVon have been doing quite a bit of press, so it's inevitable that I would see them or hear about their latest creation. The Wait is basically about celibacy before marriage. DeVon was celibate for ten years before  marrying Meagan, so that was my first reason for purchasing this book. Another reason was plain old curiosity, and I love reading, so I figured why not!                                                                                                                  
 So here is what I thought about The Wait.  The beginning was a little rough mainly because it was redundant for me. I knew the basics but I also understand that there are some people who don't know these things. After I got past that I thought it was a pretty good read, very conversational and the way it's written makes it seem like they're speaking to you and not AT you. One thing I picked up from this book was the realization that people will fall off based on your decision to wait and be disciplined. I'm not just talking about the opposite sex, I'm also talking about friends! I noticed my circle shifted a little when I decided to be dedicated to waiting and seeing what God has for me. I noticed that the negative people, the ones who I was closest too BUT they had a negative attitude, mind and heart dropped off QUICK, and I was okay with it. Also, telling men that I'm dating that I'm waiting will either make them stay or leave, 75% of the time they leave but want to remain friends. I believe that they want to remain friends for the hope of getting some, so instead I suggest that they leave altogether.  

Secondly, it put many things into perspective for me. This book wasn't just about strengthening my heart and my connection with God; it was one of many tools God used to help me figure out who I am. I also noticed how my career was going quickly in the direction I've always desired, blessings happened and so on is in fact, influenced by my decision to be disciplined and follow his will for me. I think clearer, I'm happier, I have a very active and satisfying dating life and my friends are amazing, new and old who understand my journey. Hell, I still have a friend who's a virgin and she's in her late 20's, that to me is beautiful!

Thirdly, I'm waiting, and I'm dating and that is okay! I was glad to see that the book talked about this. Dating for me is awesome because it continues to show me what I like, don't like, want and don't want. What I thought I wanted in a man wasn't necessarily true after I dated one who met everything on my checklist. I found an amazing guy who understands me waiting and started reading the book also, talk about support huh?  Making better decisions for yourself will always lead to great results, whether it's exercise, eating better, sleeping more, hygiene, etc. the wait is no exception; it too has benefits. 

I recommend this book because I believe it's shortly sold , it offers WAY more than what's been talked about, showed or reviewed. If you truly take the time to read and understand the material, soak in what Meagan and DeVon are saying, it can only be beneficial. 

<3 Ebony 

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

The Power....

We've all heard it before; forgiveness is an essential part of life. Forgiveness is not for the other person; it's for you and so on. How many of us believe that is the truth the first time we heard it? Now, how many of us believe it to be true after we chose to forgive?

I would say, that at first in this journey of life, I wasn't quick to forgive. Instead, I would marinate like a steak overnight; I would sit in a pit of sadness which would lead to anger and then irrational thinking. I would allow myself to be overtaken by this feeling of grief all because of someone else. Then I would have excuses as to why I felt this way; it was always because so and so did this or that. The truth is, yes so and so did this and that and yes they hurt me and yes they scared me and yes it has caused me to have my guard up. I cannot control what someone else does; however, I can control what I do next and what happens after that. Everything that happens after we've been hurt happens because of the next card we pull from the deck. You can sit in sorrow, you can be mad and pissed off at the world, but what does that bring to you after? More hurt, shame, hate? Is it truly worth it?

That is why people say to forgive others because it truly does set you free. Emotions are one hell of a thing to deal with, and they all have consequences. I found that the power of forgiveness was the reason for my current state of mind, success and happiness. I no longer hate the people who hurt me, who lied to me, who back-stabbed me, who cheated on me, who physically assaulted me, who sexually assaulted me, who didn't believe me, who blamed me, who doubted me and who made me feel less than the queen that I know I am now. Instead of hating, allowing my blood to boil to a point of red faces and high blood pressure medication, I choose to pray for them and continued healing of forgiveness in my heart.

It's so easy to be overruled by emotions and self-pity all because so and so did this and that. It's time to love yourself and take charge of your life, and one of those first steps comes from forgiveness. Not for the other person, because you deserve to live the best life possible.

<3 Ebony