Monday, March 7, 2016

Heart Broken But Heaven has their Angel

It's been years. When I say years, it's been since 2002; that was the last time I had my best friend around me, to hold my hand, to give me a hug, to say "I love you", and to plan our baby blue matching bridesmaids dresses. Then that summer, I fell ill, and she was taken away from us.

I was lost, upset, confused. That age was hard for me, not just by losing my best friend and sister but because of other issues I cannot share. It took over a decade for me to stop crying. I still had the urge to call her and tell her things, as soon as I would dial her house number, her mom would answer, and I would forget that my best friend was never coming back. Instead of hanging up, I would speak to her mom for quite some time, and over the years, I would leave messages on her gravesite.

She was a powerful person, a loving friend that had a smile that would make you forget about all your worries. She had the best hugs, ones that made you feel loved for days, and she was a smart-ass very quick witted; a trait I always admired. And now, as she would have turned 27, I can't help but think about where she would be now. What would she have been doing, what is her address so I can mail her an invitation to my graduation in May.

I miss my best friend, the world misses her and benefited from her for the little amount of time she walked this earth. Last year was the first year I didn't cry on her birthday or the day of her death. Instead, I learned to grow and celebrate her and not be pissed off or angry at life. This year is the 2nd year I'm unable to go to her grave and lay on it and tell her "I miss you." Took me awhile to realize I didn't need to be laying on her to talk to her.

I am so blessed to have known her, and I'm glad that I got the chance to call her my best friend and have the best friendship I've ever had in my life. I will forever love you, Laney, happy birthday!


Delaney Lynn Zutz

1 comment:

Jinny said...

Ebony, you have no idea how much reading this means to me. I think of you often and look forward to seeing your posts. I think of Delaney every time you have a milestone a success or even a bad day. I wonder if Delaney would be having a good day or going through similar situations. You were special to her and still are to our family.. It's hard still people say it gets easier but it only gets different.. Thank you for being ther. For our girl. We love you😍❤️