Friday, February 26, 2016


How many times have we allowed ourselves to be in a horrible situation? Whether it's emotional, physical, sexual, has to do with work or friendships? How many of us are "yes people"? When is it enough? Aren't you tired by now? I know I am.

I can't even count the number of times I have done things to please other people. At one point in my life, I thought that was my calling. I thought I was the person who had to be there for others. I thought  I was the one who had to make everyone happy, because God said to help those in need. I thought that I had to give myself to undeserving people because they were in a place of need, because again, God said help those in need.

In the pit of my exhaustion, I find myself battered, beaten, and tired. Sick and tired of being sick and freaking tired. What do I do? Instead of putting myself first, I continue to put others first. Why would I do that? Because I am a people-pleaser and unashamed by the love of seeing satisfaction on others faces that was caused by my actions. Somewhere, in that love of loving others, I slowly started to fall out of love with myself and in turn, with God. My dad even told me that I have an uncontrollable desire to help people, even if they are unfair and unkind to me. This is true, when it comes to the level of un-appreciation that  people have for me, family, friends and co-workers; I have always been the type to help and get shitted on at the same time.

I have exhausted all of my being into being that person everyone can count on. That one who will drive hours if you are sick and need help. That one who will cancel appearances and call in sick from work just to make sure you are okay.  I'm that one who will cancel dates with an amazing man, or put off writing a chapter in my new novel or that one who will always answer the phone no matter the time or day because a "friend" needs me. I was that girl. Truthfully, I hated that girl. I despise that person and I wished at times that she would just die, and allow a harden case of cement to cover her heart.

Then one day, I discovered a word that makes everyone who is not truly there for me, and who truly doesn't love me to disappear. I discovered the power of "no". I have found that no matter the length of a relationship and the depth of understanding between two people, that when "no" is said, or "I can't" or "sorry I'm busy" is said people start to fall off. I have also noticed that when I tried to cash in on those who said "I'm here for you" or "I'm only an hour away" or "anything you need" or "my door is always open no matter what" are truly full of shit. I also noticed that when I would make plans with a "girlfriend", she would forget, make plans else where or cancel. It's apparent that my time meant nothing and so did my emotions. I got tired of being a doormat. I was drained from allowing myself to release all my emotions and hurt to a "friend" who honestly has no time for me, except when she would need me.  AND that is OKAY, because in my heart, I know that we are all human. Instead of getting mad, I just hold myself to a higher standard.

If you are a yes person, like I once was, look in the mirror. Take a self inventory of what you need out of all your relationships and decide what's worth it and what isn't.

<3 Ebony

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

MAC and Black Lips

A photo posted by M∙A∙C Cosmetics (@maccosmetics) on

This picture is beautiful for many reasons. 1. that lipstick is AMAZING, 2. her skin is flawless and 3. THEM LIPS ARE GODS GIFT! But yet, despite the beauty in this image, and that Mac Cosmetics was bold enough to use an African-American woman's lips for this campaign deserves it's own round of applause. Because of my praise, you should already know that the amount of comments left under the image because she is a black woman was to no surprise disgusting. People even unfollowed the brand because of their choice in model, others left nasty comments while one even posted that "black women always stealing from white women" that comment was funny because black women have great lips that most women inject to imitate...There were plenty of comments, and still are comments that are to nasty to post for my liking, here are a few

 In response tot he hateful words, MAC posts this to their Instagram page... 

My thoughts, I applaud MAC for putting this picture up.  I also think it is great that they responded in such a public way. I don't get mad when I read hateful comments that attack black women and our features. Instead I laugh, while most people are so ignorant and complain and call us ugly... Those same women are tanning to get darker, filling their lips to make it plumper, injecting their asses for a fuller effect, and slowly but surely becoming culture vultures from a culture that set the standards for what is cool and in from the beginning of time. It sucks that people feel so threatened by certain people and racial groups they have to result in hate.

As a side note.... I saw this picture the other day, this is NOT A NEW TREND! These bubbles have hurt my head plenty of times growing up, nice try Urban Outfitters...

Wednesday, February 17, 2016



That's what I think I'm walking on when it comes to having conversations with certain people. In a world of sensitivity, where "everyone" is a racist, and if they don't think black lives matter then they are somehow all for brutality against African-American people.  It's funny how the dictionary describes racism as “the belief that all members of each race possess characteristics or abilities specific to that race, especially so as to distinguish it as inferior or superior to another race or races”.. but somehow that definition has then transferred to “anyone who does not support a movement” or "someone who thinks differently about social issues"

I raise these questions, is it racist if a person doesn’t want their son or daughter to date outside their race? Is it racist for someone to not be attracted to someone else who doesn’t necessarily fit their definition of beauty? And is it racist if someone chooses to say all lives matter, instead of black lives matter?  Is it racist that I would want my babies to have smooth chocolate skin and be proud of it? Is it racist if I honestly believe that black lives do matter?  

The answer to all of those questions is, no. There is nothing wrong with not being attracted to other races, some people love thick curvy vivacious women, and others love their men thick too; while some might like them muscular or thin; but for those reasons of attraction that's okay but race preference is not? Yes I believe all lives matter, however I understand that black lives are being taken for the hell of it. Racist and racism, those words are being misused and mistreated in this age of police brutality and inequality with ALL races in this country. A land that was taken from the Native-Americans, the true Americans of this country and turned into a pit of hate, lies, abuse, neglect, struggle, only to be  ridiculed  by fucking Indian mascots and over sexualized with costumes. And how did the men who came to this land repay the original owners? They capitalized, stole, raped, murdered, sent them off to remote lands and give them dividends and stock in land, land that was theirs to begin with. BUT yet, in this new time, where the abuse is still present, people are surprised, shocked, and oblivious to the lives that people live. People want everyone to just "let it go", sorry this is not Frozen, this is real life. 

Here is why I think there is a huge problem with the Black Lives Matter Movement.  Yes, it is true that we are not the only ones who have been through hardships when it comes to this country. For some reason, we are the main ones who refuse to sit down and stay quiet about what's still happening to our people.  I know plenty of Spanish, Asians and Europeans who face these issues. Hell I even know white people who are not financial blessed who get the same punishment. People want to sweep things under the rug, pretend like nothing has happened and like nothing  is happening. The problem is, that we do NOT want to face these touchy issues. If you want to deal with racism, and you want it to end you need to speak on it. Just like being in a relationship, if your significant other has an issue, will you let the sun set with anger in the air? KNOWING that if you do not address the problem it will never be solved? I think not. We are all in relationship with one another. Things need to change, change needs to happen but it cannot happen if it is silenced.

Police brutality, hello, it’s something that has been around since man was given power over others. Does it just happen to African-American people? NO, why is it highlighted all over the place? Simple, to cause an issue or a stir in our own community and to throw us off track. The moment there is unity, a new video will surface and we lose our damn minds. That is exactly what the media, and the world wants. Wants for people to NOT be united so that there will always be something to report on. More videos, more ridiculous deaths, more police brutality, more guns in our ghettos, violence rises, frustrations occurs, frustrations gets taken out on other racial groups, and then lastly, in our own racial group. Not all police are bad, but for those who kill for sport, like people are trophies or to get a high fives from your crew of twisted men in uniform, I pray that God has mercy on your soul. What you think is being done in fun and in the dark, not only comes to light, but what God has in store is way worse than what anyone else on this earth can do to you. 

Black on black violence… we forget about it at times. We neglect to talk about it because a white cop killed a black kid yet again. We hush how many of our babies are being taken from our own kind, the moment someone of another race kills his brother or sister. Everyone needs unity, and I believe that unity needs to be strong in our community first. When we stand together, great things happen, that is a given, that is proven, educate yourself and see what happens and the power people posses when they come together. The more friction we have in our community, the happier others are to see us tare each other down. Don’t believe me, “Lynch Letter”  look it up, actually CLICK HERE to listen. We are not free, because we have yet to comprehend the concept on what truly sets us free. Still a slave to this new age bullshit, and political propaganda that's being sugar coded by what Miley Cyrus is doing or what man the Kardashian sisters are sleeping with. Why mention pop stars? When ever a distraction happens, look into national news and see what the media is trying to DISTRACT you from. There is always a horrible story between community, people in power or the government that is being glanced over because of the latest hot topic. 

We come together and pray for other countries when they have terrorist attacks. I've seen countless Facebook photos changed to the Paris flag, or the Kenyan flag painted on hands holding a candle; but where is the prayer for America? Where is the prayer for the place we call home? Why is it so easy to pray and see others problems over our own? Why is it so easy to come together to donate to villages in other countries, but people wont help Detroit, Chicago or Flint? How do we magically have millions of money to share with the world but not at home? 

Wake up, and leave the obliviousness in yesterday. Education is key. Read, research and grow. 

"A child educated only at school is an uneducated child"- George Santayana 

Friday, February 12, 2016

Valentine's Day

Some people DREAD this day! Then, there are those hopeless romantics that LOVE this day. As I prepare for my radio show, I'm tuning in to various morning shows, syndicated and local to hear what their views are on Valentine's Day. To no surprise, most of the men HATE this day, some of the women love it and then some of the other women hate it. Then I was asked, "what do you think of Valentine's Day?" After I sat back, thought about it, I came to this conclusion:

I do NOT hate Valentine's Day. Instead, I hate Hallmark, the candy companies and the flower shops for spiking prices to capitalize on love. I hate the people who feel as if they need to go ALL OUT for their loved ones just because it's expected. I love the day, but I hate the manufactured mess it became to be. If I'm going to be honest, I've had the BEST Valentine's Days when I'm single. I think this is because my boyfriend at the time would put way to much pressure on himself and end up ruining the day. When I'm single, my guy friends always find a way to show that I am loved, and that there is something out there for me :). Might sound corny, but I surround myself with great positive people, male and female.

The best Valentine's Day, came from a guy friend. He bought me  a basket for "singles awareness day" (for those who don't know, it's Valentine's Day for singles). The basket was BRIGHT PINK, had dead roses in it (I HATE roses), sour candies (YUCK), chocolate filled raspberry creme candies (YUCK), a picture of Neil Diamond (Why, I have no idea...), a t-shirt of Britney Spears during her 07 melt down, all wrapped in a see through Christmas paper, while being held by a giant teddy bear with one eye. Then the note, that was on a Disney Princess birthday paper that had an Austin Powers sticker on it, the note read : "Happy singles awareness day you sexy beast you, trust me, you aren't missing out on anything. :) "

So, back on topic, when it comes to Valentine's Day, I love to feel the love when I go out. I love to see the hands being held, the men on their best behavior, the women dressed their best, and the passionate kisses exchanged from the older couples who've put in YEARS to make their relationship work. I'm all for LOVE, however, I am not for capitalizing on it.  So for those who celebrate it and absolutely LOVE everything I hate when it comes to this day, I pray that God blesses your sweet heart, your relationships and much more. For those who feel the same as me, I still pray that God blesses your heart, relationships and much more.

Happy Valentines Day!
<3 Eb

#nowlisteningto Big Sean "I Don't Fuck With You"