Monday, September 28, 2015

My Journey to Happiness; Guns!

My dad is a sharp shooter... literally! He was in the Air-force, special forces so he knows a thing or two about a thing or two! I'm more of a knife person though, I'm not much on loud noises I like to throw knives, I love the craftsmanship with a butterfly knife and pocket knives. One day I decided to go ahead and knock out a fear. It was raining, storming actually when I went to the shooting range. I loaded the clip and let go. I must say, for a first timer I'm a pretty good shot ;). Wonder where I got it from? :) 
This fear thing is no big deal when I think about it. Maybe one day I'll ride a roller-coaster? or sky diving?! Maybe even walk through a haunted house? But for now, baby steps..... 

What's Next? 
-xo Ebony 

Friday, September 25, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Date Night!


No not with a man, but instead with myself. I love to go to movies alone because well, I hate someone talking to me or asking me "what happened?" because they went to the bathroom. So to get to know myself a little more, I got all dolled up, and took myself out on a date. Seems weird? But it felt so good to be still, silent, in my own presence, and in reality I knew that I wasn't alone, God was sitting right across from me. I read a book, ate my meal, watched families eat together and listened to them laugh. I prayed for them, their happiness to remain constant and that I one day might enjoy that also. God spoke with me the entire time I ate, and listening to his voice, with a room full of people, is the best thing I've ever experienced.

What's Next? Guns.
-xo Ebony

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Big Mitch

In early February of 2014, I  got an email for a call back to be on the voice. I was so nervous and made sure to practice with my vocal coach Big Mitch as much as possible. But on February 18, 2014, I was tagged in a picture from a mutual good friend of Mitch and I. It said that our dear friend passed away. When he was called home, I stopped singing. I'll do it randomly but when I see that someone is listening or smiling at me, I either get off key to pretend like I was joking around or I just stop and wish I was invisible. If you couldn't tell, Mitch and I were working on my HORRIBLE stage fright! So what's next? Well I joined a writing team for a record label, and I submit my songs that I've written. I've never wanted to become a singer, however I know that my talent for writing and singing has to be used... right? Well it's time to get back into the sing of things.... I'm happy to say that I'm back at it, and I'm doing vocal training.

What's Next? Date Night!
-xo Ebony

Monday, September 21, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: LA

Being a broadcaster, of course I have dreams of making it in either New York or Los Angeles.

Since I was 10, I remember telling my dad that I'm going to live in Los Angeles. When I saw my first Emmy Awards, I told my sister Tasha that I will host a red carpet one day.

 In 2014, I was able to go to the city that has always called my name. I went by myself, and I also managed to go during the same time as an awesome radio conference. So of course, I did some work in the middle of my play time!

I met  new friends, and got to meet some great celebs, who knew that Eden XO and I would have bonded over red nail polish? And who knew that my epic Karaoke battle between my friend Steve and I at the Dirty Bull would get everyone HYPED! Talk about fun! Oh and I stayed at this random Japanese hotel... why? Because I wanted to :)

For more pictures from my LA trip, the celebs I saw and to see some awesome performances CLICK HERE 

What's Next? Making Big Mitch Proud

-xo Ebony 

Friday, September 18, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Mixing it Up!

So yes I did it. I stepped outside my comfort zone from my fine chocolate brothers and tried something new. He was Mexican but I thought he was a tanned Caucasian fellow.  He held my attention for AWHILE! I was surprised that I had something in common with someone like him, since he is from A DIFFERENT CUT OF LIFE, I gave him a shot because well, he was very conversational and seemed interesting.

It lasted a good couple months until he turned into a douche bag, actually one of the worse guys I've ever entertained in my life! So that was short lived, but hey at least I can say I was open minded at some point in my life. Check that off the bucket list!

Whats next? A trip to where my heart lies!
-xo Ebony

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Hello Kitchen!

Since I love being healthy. I'm glad I got out my own ass and got back into shape. A lot of it was due to cardio and weights, BUT my body wouldn't be the way it is without food! I LOVE TO EAT! Sugar is my weakness, and I love a good steak!

So another step in my journey to happiness, has to be my new found love of the kitchen. I like to figure out my own recipes. I love winging it in the kitchen and trying something new. Other times I love doing basic stuff, cook book things, television suggestions and what ever my sister Tasha discovered that I might like.

It to safe to say that the kitchen turned into my boyfriend, we have many romantic nights together.

Whats next? Dating? But mixing it up..
-xo Ebony

Monday, September 14, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Goodbye Hair

Why is it so damn hot in Texas? It really does feel like Satan's armpit down here! Not to mention the humidity! Alaska gets hot but we don't have to suffer the death mist and musk or humidity. Because of that, the heat, sweating when I'm sitting down, sweating when I lift my arm, sweating when I get out the shower. The amount of times I was washing my hair because it was laying on my neck was ridiculous! I think my sweat was sweating.

So I decided to do something, that plenty of people told me not to. I chopped off my hair, I was told NOT to do it by many, employers, friends, men and the list goes on. There's some type of shrine for long hair. Like that is the vision of beauty. The European look is what many people find attractive and anything less is simply unacceptable. But I got tired of living up to someone elses' vision of what's beautiful...why?because it makes me happy. Also because I was going through another mental break down and for some reason, women love to do something drastic when shit hits the fan. I'm currently in the stages of growing out my awesome haircut. It was a lot of fun, but winter is coming and my ears are cold! It's a good feeling to know that I can do whatever I want, and don't care if others don't like it.

Whats next? The Kitchen!

-Xo Ebony

Friday, September 11, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: Celebrate Recovery

I didn't realize how miserable things were for me until I heard the phrase "you can choose to be happy." I never understood that because who would choose to be miserable?  I took a  good look in the mirror and realized that I was choosing not to be happy. 

It all started with thoughts in the morning on how this and that is wrong, or I'm failing at this, or I'm mad at this person; instead of waking up thankful for another day. I was deciding to go back to a place of pain because it was familiar. 

They say, the mind is a powerful thing and God even says be careful what you think and speak.Remember being told to "watch what you say?"now I totally understand that meaning. 

I was waking up in the morning heavily depressed not knowing that I was unintentionally setting myself up for failure and choosing being sad over being happy. 

I realized that life is short, people piss you off  and things wont always go your way, however; at the end of the day, it's just you and God. God wants us to be happy and to love but I couldn't love anybody because I was improperly loved by people who should've loved me. Which in turn caused me to look for love in all the wrong places. 

So with the talk to God and a slap in the face of reality I decided to join an amazing group called Celebrate Recovery. It's a Christlike centered therapy group .A safe place that allows you to surrender all your hurts, hang ups and habits. A couple weeks ago, I got my 60 day chip. :)

What's next? This hair has GOT TO GO!
-xo Ebony  

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: My Body

I started this journey with a move, and now I have to change me.

I looked int he mirror at pounds of fat that had piled up from bad choices and bad men. I looked at years of abuse, mental, physical, emotional and of alcohol. I looked in the mirror at my 5'7" frame, weighing in at 197lbs. I held my weight well....

I sat in my empty apartment, I only had a blow up mattress, a few frozen meals in the fridge and $20 in my pocket. I cried, I was thankful to finally sleep in peace, not be scared for what might come in the door or who might show up at my house. I was also crying because I lost myself, not just in my weight but in my heart.
Step one, I went to the bootleg gym at my apartment complex and decided to run. I ran for almost an hour. I burned thousands of calories, I was sweating, crying, yelling at times; people walked by staring like "who is this psycho?" I forgot how many miles I ran within that hour, I just know, that I was hurt and that was my release. Operation old Ebony (body wise) in effect NOW!

In four months, I dropped over 40lbs. I think I dropped the weight so fast because I was always active, healthy and an athlete. So when I fell off the bandwagon, getting back on it wasn't difficult for me at all. I ran my first 5k for a sorority house in town.I began group bootcamps bright and early with FITU and Trainer Ashlye, and I started lifting weights at Golds Gym. Now I can step outside and into the humidity without the fear of dying, because I made it my bitch, I ran in that shit.

Whats next? figuring out who God is....

-xo Ebony 

Monday, September 7, 2015

My Journey to Happiness: The Move

Deciding to move is a HUGE deal. I've moved before, went to Seattle for a few months before starting my career and moving back to Anchorage, Alaska. It wasn't until September of 2014, when I had enough. Enough of the drama, the stress, the bad people, lack of support, loneliness and did I mention Drama? My mind was brewing and my heart was at work on getting out of Alaska but in the proper way... getting a job! So I searched, endlessly, rejections came nonstop UNTIL I received an offer letter from Candy 95 in College Station Texas. A month later, I was on my way out of the last frontier and headed to Texas, cowboy boots anyone?

I stepped off the plane, and was hit in the face with humidity. I felt like I was going to die as I was searching for my inhaler. But instead, I heard God ask, are you ready? I smiled, grabbed my luggage from baggage claim, and told God "I sure am"I finally took a chance on me, what will I encounter on this journey to self discovery and happiness? I have NO IDEA! BUT I'm more than willing to find out.

Whats next? My Body
-xo Ebony

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Exes and Questions.. Would You Do This?

Well.. They were together for seven years.. After being split for two years, they decide to face each other again and get answers to the questions that's been brewing in their minds! Ugh would you do this? I cried a little.. don't judge me.