I have this conversation weekly with my friend. We speak about love and I listen to her dish, share pain and then happiness about certain situations. I then return the favor and chimed in that I looked at my exes Instagram to honestly be nosey since he's been pooping up in my notifications and too test my prayer. Here's what I mean by that, I've been praying for release. I've also been told that if you pray for those who hurt you the most than God will release you from them. Forgiveness isn't for them it truly is for you. So this morning, I looked at his Instagram and what I saw would typically hurt someone. Especially if you were that someone who helped with money, emotions, travel and took the lashing when he was angry; much like I did in our situation. Instead of feeling hurt because that another woman was receiving the treatment I sure as hell deserved from him, I was happy for them. I knew then that my prayers really do work. God really did release me from him, my emotions and our situation. I prayed to God and said “Thank you” I continued on to pray that their happiness within each other remain pure and true. I don’t want to see people not happy; I hate the posts on “never again” when it comes to love. Love is a beautiful thing and when taken seriously it has glorious results. Am I in love? Yes and no. I’m in love with where I’m at now in life, something I couldn’t fathom me saying months ago. I’m also in love with how my body looks, something I’ve NEVER said before. I love the flub, tightness and dimples that make me up despite what someone might call ‘”beautiful”. I’m also in love with my job, writing and lastly GOD. He has shown me so much I know that one day soon it’ll be my turn. I’m not rushing, I know my career is demanding and my moves are sporadic, but I do welcome the idea of Love with open arms now, something I was so against since my first heartbreak. So yes I’m in love to a degree, but I also love knowing that it is going to happen for me, I’m too awesome for love not to find me.
Sometimes it’s okay to toot your own horn ;)