As I'm in the studio waiting to do my next break, "Human" by Christina Perri begins to play. I'm the type of person who doesn't like to showcase the bad in my life. I tend to hold onto many things, mainly because I feel the less people know the better and lets face it, thinking happiness makes you live longer and sleep easier.
This move from Alaska to Texas still hasn't hit me yet, and I've almost been here a month. I feel as if one day, at a random point in time whether I'm shopping or driving to Houston on the weekend I feel my reality will hit me. I feel as if I will finally understand that I 'm one step closer to achieving all things I aspire to be. I will then finally realize that out of the 200+ rejections I've come encountered with (whether it be books submissions or job applications) 1 believed in me; and you only need 1.
I've come to Texas with no ties, no pain, no regrets a clean slate. At 25 my life started in the beginning of October when I first stepped foot on the airplane. I realized that my "friends" I accumulated before leaving were temporary, mainly by their actions and my unwillingness to let people mooch off me I'm at a stage in my life where I'm 100% happy with myself, how I look, how I act, my freckles on my face and neck, how my corny and quirkiness come into play at random times. I fully love me with all my flaws and all my mistakes.
Just for a personal touch, I've been secluded, in isolation to finish my writing projects. I don't even own a television that's how focused I am. Moving here feels more like home than any other state I've ever lived in or visited. There's creative people all around me, people who are my age and have GOALS and working to achieve them. People younger than me who have major aspirations! People I'm surrounding myself with aren't okay with the bare minimum life has to offer. They wont accept mediocre, they want the best. It's refreshing to see people my age have a goal and will not accept NO for an answer;where I"m from I'm not used to such driven people and it's contagious.
Maybe the day of realization is now..... Maybe I'm in a place now in the studio as I play Fegire LA Love (la La) that I realize this door that Candy 95 has opened, can never be shut. I can feel in my heart the other opportunities that are waiting for me....
Yeah... Today is my day of reality.