Thursday, February 27, 2014


Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - Psalm 23:4

Now no judgement, admit it my hip hop heads when you first read that you started to sing 2Pac's song huh?


It's something many of us posses, it's simple. Spiders, heights, falling in love, falling out of love, dying, balloons and even  birds. Or what this blog is about, fear of rejection.  Fear is apart of peoples lives and is the sole basis of why we do things and why we don't.

 Fear is a handicap that has us in this choke-hold or quicksand to where some can't escape. There are simple things that we fear; like what I stated above i.e. spiders and so on. What about a fear of actually succeeding? Most people probably read that and thought "girl you trippin, who wouldn't want to succeed?" But read closely and take into account what it takes to actually be successful, you have to first be rejected. No one likes to hear no's, or have doors shut in their face.

Rejection will test you. You want so bad and work so hard on something. Then you get the gull to act on it and you're rejected. All of your hard work seems to be spit back in your face and deemed "not good enough". This is when most people stop.God is testing you now, is this really something you want? How hard are you willing to work? How much time are you going to spend on your knees praying? Will you get back up after being told no? The rejection phase is inevitable, it will come to all who aspire to be something and do something big. Fear cannot exist in your world, if you have a goal. It will hinder you and it will make sure you don't reach the place you desire to be.

Confession hour, I've been turned down for my first novel a couple times  (103  to be exact) by literary agents. I published myself and have sold hundreds of copies just by my own reach.  I now have gained the interest of an editor who I met via Twitter who wants to sign on and edit and help with ALL of my future publications. I keep pushing, and save EVERY rejection letter, whether it be for my books or a job. My rejections make me work harder, and give me more faith in God. One thing that made me keep working hard is finding out that the author of Twilight got rejected by a little over 50 agents before getting picked up; and the writer of Harry Potter got rejected by close to 100 agents, I bet those agents are kicking themselves in the ass huh?

I got rid of that fear after I got my first rejection letter. If I would've stopped Lord knows what I would be doing. Writing is my outlet,  if I would've given up on that; I might as well stop being on the radio, cut all my dreams short and quit trying to get an education. For me if fear concurs one aspect of my life, it will slowly take over the other areas I'm working hard on. Remember, noting worth keeping comes easy. So tell fear to kiss your ass and keep it moving.

Monday, February 24, 2014


It's funny how people don't appreciate what's in front of them. Whether it be, friends, a job, having a place to sleep, eating the list goes on.  It's not until something tragic happens when most people all of a sudden appreciate those minor things. When they lose that job they constantly complained about, when the bed they complained about is gone because they have no where to sleep, or that friend who passed away, you know that person most people ignore but now claim to miss?

I hear many people complain about little things and just take for granted what God has given them. Most of you even take your life for granted by doing careless things. What also amuses me is when people get upset about little stuff and completely lose their cool. When did people get so sensitive to where we can't have an imagination without someone getting their feelings hurt?

The problem is many people are handed things now. The process of hard work is overlooked because of who you know and not your ability to complete the job. A sense of entitlement is what most people posses because they don't want to pay their dues to get to where they want. I mean who wants to work hard when you can call mommy or daddy to fix things right? Another issue is that people think they are deserving of much more than what they really are. In their minds they should be in a higher position because they have on rose colored glasses. Instead of understanding that almost everyone before them put in work.

I just wish it didn't take losing something or for a tragedy to happen in order for people to appreciate what they're given. For me I understood the concept of appreciation when I was growing up. I understood that people around the world didn't have a place to sleep or meals to eat, and for that I was appreciative and grateful. I've always had people around me who "cared" but I didn't appreciate them to the fullest until I lost my best friend in 2002. When she died I realized life is really short and if I care for you I will say it and show it anyway I could. I wouldn't want a day to go by where I didn't tell my small circle of friends I cared and thank you.

Remember those days when you did something wrong and had repercussions from your parent or guardian? When they said you were on restriction? For those of you who know the word restriction that was 10x worse than being grounded. Being placed on restriction, taught us to straighten up and appreciate using the phone, going outside, watching TV. It took punishment in order for most of us to see things. As we grow up, it's no longer referred to as restriction it's now reality.

Imagine losing your car and that was the only means in your mind of transportation. What if the last thing you said to someone was to hateful and petty, then the next day they passed away? How about your parents that you fought with because you think they're being overbearing instead of loving, and now one of them is gone? Or what if you lost your job that you complained about when taking to Facebook, now those bills are pilling up and you received an eviction notice? Bet you would love to have that job now huh?

All I'm saying is don't wait to appreciate something or someone. Give thanks, tell your friends you love em,  hug your family, have patience with people, be appreciative that God woke you up today and for goodness sake appreciate your job because you could be without all of those things; and that would really suck.

Monday, February 10, 2014


A poetic formation of encryption, because some peoples statuses are just so confusing but make me giggle.

I guess things are kind of encrypted.
Those comments and expressions that don't really pertain to anyone but are aimed at someone

The underling message that you have to pay close attention to in order to understand.
Or the ones that require you to "read between the lines"

I guess its encrypted if it's meant for a few to understand while leaving the rest oblivious. Like those statues that say "This isn't about you but if you feel some type of way then there is some truth to it for you" what the f**k does that mean? But I guess it's just another form of encryption

Those pictures I see my girlfriends post on Instagram that say "team solo" in the comments, then they  post another picture of how they can do bad all by themselves, and then don't forget the post a couple hours later that's about love and finding a man.

I guess the confusion is necessary?

I guess saying "I'm single, a down chick and would like the attention of a man" is to much to ask?
So instead they post random photos in an order that makes no sense for someones attention.... hmmm

I guess coming out and speaking on how you feel with no encryption is to much to ask because of the fear of public judgement and humiliation.

What's the point on speaking your mind publicly if you're just going to use a form of encryption?

Not sure about you, but I think that defeats the purpose on "social networking"

A world that is supposed to be yours online and allows you to speak as you wish exercising your rights that are protected by the First Amendment.

Those words that we use in this world are cut short because of the mere thought of being confronted about our actual conflicts.

Why be encrypted when you can be honest and squash the problem?

I guess it's encrypted to make some feel like a bad-ass.
Releasing all those emotions so that one person can read it or comment as a form of support when in reality it's about them.

When I think about it, who has the time to stay encrypted?!

I guess encryption is a form of comfort for those who can't really express themselves because of the thought of losing a friend.

So if you feel a certain type of way about this blog posting today than maybe it has to do with you. Or maybe it doesn't... I don't know, maybe it's another form of encryption.