Monday, August 27, 2012

Why Do You Write? ( You Aren't Paid to Think)

After coming back from a very calm weekend and much needed me time. I started off my Monday at the store grabbing some breakfast before I headed to work. While I was at the store I ran into a Facebook friend. I didn't know this person personally but I knew of them. She approached me and said: "You're Ebony right?" I nodded and stared waiting for her to finish speaking. "Well my name is ****, I have you as a friend on Facebook. I sent you a request because I think what you go through and how you channel that into your writing is cool. How you have found your calling at such a young age and been in a difficult industry to remain relevant is hard. But why write a blog? I mean I love reading it, but I always wondered." I smile and looked and this woman. She is much older, sounds articulate, and VERY energetic for how early it was. I put my bags down and I told her: " Someone once said to me "You aren't paid to think" I write because it is my only form of expression that I'm able to use. Writing lets me see my own thoughts and answer some deep questions I've asked myself. I write  down what people say at times and study it. I look into those words and meanings. Through that I'm able to see who is really there for me and who really loves me. Its a way people can get a hint of my life and what goes on in my mind. Just a taste of some emotion. Most of the time speaking to people who claim to be your friend and others who say they love you, isn't enough, because in the back of some peoples mind, you're full of shit or you don't make sense. This has happened to me alot, my feelings aren't cared for and how I think is not accepted. BUT once I write it down for them to see, all of a sudden it makes sense. It's a little confusing since I've been saying things and it not be taken to heart, but for some reason when I lift my pen, or turn on a computer it makes perfect sense." She smiled and said, "I completely understand. At 50 years old I still continue to fight with releasing emotions." I told her "Try writing it literally saved my life."

So why do I write? Besides for expression, it's who I am and what I know. It's a gift that wont be taken away; something that I have control over. When I write, I'm able to say what I want, how I want and I could care less If I hurt peoples feelings or if someone thinks a blog is about them. I don't care if someone is offended by my words and wants it to be taken down. Why? Because my writing is me, if I edit myself I am a lie to what I stand for and what has God created. I refuse to be that, take me or leave me. Thick skin is what got me to where I am, I believe that people are so shaded and soft they don't know how to be tough or react to someone with a very strong voice. If that is you, don't read my blogs, don't send me a friend request, don't follow me on twitter or instagram; because I won't be censored. AND the icing on the cake, when people doubt me, say mean things and try to steer me away from my passion. It makes me work 10x harder. :)

That is why I write.