Wednesday, July 11, 2012

What Happens When The Arguments Stop?

Ahhh, the sole question on what happens when the argument stops... Well ultimately doom. No matter how long you know someone or been with them, you really don't know their thought process especially if the time together is relatively short. People who been together for a short time (doesn't matter if its in a romantic way or in a working way) don't know the other persons true thoughts, feelings, reactions, emotions and so forth. They see the glossy shinny new cover instead of the deep, damaged pages within.

When arguments become the sole base of peoples relationships whether it be with family, work, friends or boyfriend/girlfriend the truth behind the matter isn't what your arguing about. Because having the strength to argue brings emotions and lets the other know that you still care. What matters is when that other person doesn't even want to argue.

Now you don't have to argue ALL the time for this to matter, it could even be in little spurts for this to be a big deal. For instance your doing the dishes fellas and your lady comes in just yelling and nagging about nothing. Usually you'll argue back to figure out what's wrong because us women are so complex you have to ask in order to find out. Instead of asking you let her ramble and get all worked up get loud and stomp around. You continue to do the dishes and she continues to fuss. After 5 minutes or so goes by your thinking "why in the hell is she still going at it?" well that's because you are not responding. When you don't respond whether it be a hey or yell right back, she is going to think that you don't even care. Now ladies if your in this situation, he probably doesn't care. Why? Well because you do it so often it has no effect. Soon your screaming and fussiness will wear off and he will go his separate way.

Another instance, your man always wants to know the goods on you aka where are you, what your doing, who your with and who that person is and what they mean to you. Every time you say hi to another person of the opposite sex say your man asks you "you have sex with him?" or "how you know him?" At first you thought it was plain curiosity and answered. Then as time went by your thinking "damn is this how it's going to be every time?" so then you decide to flip the script, you ask him all the questions he asks you and soon he gets all pissy and starts arguments. Now fellas, don't ask questions you don't want to be asked. Truth is, some people want it their way all the time. Ladies some men don't want you to do what they do, whether it be hanging with your friends, talking to certain people or having fun without them; but when they get that chance themselves some men will take it and run. Why? It's the have your cake and eat it to innuendo. In this instance fellas, if you keep asking your lady questions but never want to answer them yourself and she STOPS answering you and starts ignoring. That is a clear sign to check things out. Why? 8 times out of 10 your lady has already checked out on the situation and probably even you.

Now say you are in the work place, and you have a co worker or even a boss who keeps nagging about a situation that Billy did last week. Say Billy spilled the coffee and didn't clean up his mess. Your co worker or boss might have gotten so mad that they reamed Billy and kept going on about it that entire day. Billy and the other person keep getting into it arguing non stop taking little jabs and trying to outshine each other at work... Can you say Tension???? Now weeks have passed by and every time Billy goes to get coffee that person always makes a remark or comes up to you and talks about him. Wouldn't that irk your nerves? The situation has escalated and now other co workers are being brought in.  In this situation the arguments have brought things to two options 1. if its a co worker that person would get fired because they can't show that they can move on from situations 2. If that was a boss you might think about finding another job because he has traits of immaturity.

After reading all that take away one thing: say what you mean and mean what you say. One argument with someone important can very well be the last.

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