Why is that?
My opinion is because for some countries that recommend or demand that type of life, makes people work through the tough times. Learn to love the other person for ALL their faults and keep at it. Unlike here in the U.S. we have the free will to leave a person at any moment in time. With this option, I think is why our divorce rate is so high. We allow ourselves the possibility of not having a forever and when situations get really tough many people run instead of fighting through the tough long storm.
I've met this student from India she had a prearranged marriage and was set to marry at 16 years old from India. She was auctioned off when she was a kid by her parents who would come into a large lump sum of money if they agreed; and being in their position they took that chance. I'll always remember speaking with her, here is one of our last conversations:
"So how was it? Growing up knowing you don't have that choice to choose and it's already planned?"
"Well in my country it wasn't a big deal, and that's how we grew up" her accent is so thick I loved every moment of it. "Yes 16 is pretty young, we are 21 now, and I must admit we are more in love than ever. In a couple years we'll probably have kids and change a little of our countries rules." she giggled and turned to the side
"What do you mean by changing the rules?" I asked
"Well prearranged marriages are great because it's one less hassle with the billions of people in the world. Being in it makes you love someone and grow to love them. Most of my friends back home really do love their wives and husbands and my other friends say they found a best friend. Now they might not be drastically in love with them, but it's love and it's better than being lonely. As for our kids I would like them to choose, if they want a prearranged marriage or to pick themselves."
I have some family members from India and other countries that do follow these guidelines so hearing what she thought intrigued me and let me inside those of my cousins and family I've never met. She went on to say:
"See here in America, it is beautiful they say the land of the free. But it's only free to those who have pale skin. For us foreigners it's less than free. It's amazing how a country can speak on such things when they don't practice what they stand for. How free can you be knowing that the people who run this country are the true immigrants. This wasn't white mans land they just took it over by force and they keep doing so because now there are to many to stop. Americas' want you to believe you are free, but in reality you're only as free as they let you. I loved going to school here, learning and seeing your kind be. Even though in parts of my country they don't like women and respect us, I'd rather be there than here."
Confusing me a little I asked her why be some place to where you know they don't value you?
She said: "Because it's in front of your face and not being your back. This country is sneaky and will turn it's back on it's own kind while smiling, mine will let you know regardless."
We hugged and I went to my Psychology class as she waited for the bus. Her words will always be fresh in my mind even 3 years later. I know she's probably back in India by now, I wish we would've kept in contact. But what she taught me in a matter of 20 minutes was more knowledge than I've ever received in a class room.
Freedom of Choice, it's yours to pick what dreams and goals you'll achieve, who you will love forever, what job you'll take, and how you turn out is all freedom of choice. For some people it's not free it's predestined; from talking with her a good majority like these customs.
Since we don't have it this way, we have to fend for ourselves and pick and pray we chose right. I have my freedom and we as people have the right to do, say, write, think, believe, feel and act as we please. Someone can have an opinion on it and think something of it, and I wont be mad, you're entitled to your opinion. But for me, I'm entitled to do as I want and will continue this way because it's my custom and what I know.Being threatened by man and put into ultimatums will not work well for me or others like me. It will only back fire to those who spit those words. It's my freedom,my constitutional right, my right as a person to do so. Take you're freedom, whether it be with love or options; it's up to you. Just remember others don't have that freedom.
What's Your Freedom?
Thanks babe :)