Friday, June 29, 2012

She's So Catty!!!!!

Women, we can be caring, loving, forgiving, thoughtful and honest. Some on the other hand can be mean spiteful, deceiving and flat out bitchy.  There is always that type of female that fits in perfectly with the boys and not so well with the girls. Why? Well this type of female is usually fake and manipulative. Most honest women see through this type of chick and read her like a book. The other picks up on it and heads for the opposite sex. What better way to get in with people than to be "innocent" pretend like you mean well and smile? That is the perfect way to fit in with the fellas sometimes it can be the perfect way to fit in with other people as well. 

Take these three true stories for example, all  happened to be good friends of mine and all have gave me permission to write about it.Thanks guys :) : 

Maid of Honor vs the Bridesmaid 
A good friend of mine (Harmony) was maid of honor at her best friends wedding. We all know that this role is important and holds many challenges. Harmony is so sweet she does all that is asked and more to make sure her bff's wedding is going to be amazing! Then there is this other chick (Stacy) whose a bridesmaid but THINKS shes the maid of honor. Stacy slowly tries to creep in and take over tasks Harmony is supposed to do completely undermining her and taking credit when credit is NOT due. Soon things start to build, Harmony is being nice about the situation and respecting the fact that its her friends day. NOW its time for the wedding. Long story short the back room turned into a WWE match. Harmony and the bride ended up arguing at the wedding and Stacy was right there pointing and instigating the situations. Harmony finally opened her mouth and blurted out what's been happening. The Bride faces Stacy and asks her if this is true, (by the way I was on the couch helping the flower girl  wishing I had pop corn) Stacy confessed and said: "Well I wanna be important on your day too! Why is it about you?" Ugh sooo Stacy was eventually kicked out the wedding and out the brides life. Come to find out she was just being nice because the bridesmaid was a childhood friend and she didn't want to let her mother down. 

Experienced Worker vs Newbie
Now, here is another topic.... Say you've been in your job field for over  10 years and you know it like the back of your hand, that market, that specific job title and the people you're around. Then comes in someone who did that someplace else and believes they know best. My friend Shannon was in this position, and hearing what went down by her and her co workers about this newbie is amazing!! Check this out. The newbie comes in, tries to take Shannon's clients and spreads bad things about her through out the company. When confronted by Shannon the newbie denied every accusation. So Shannon being the bigger person let it go and kept an eye on the newbie. Soon enough the newbie was back at it again, talking to her clients, speaking with management and coming off like she is so innocent and is only trying to help. Well management see this and takes her side, talks to Shannon and tries to put her in place (without confronting and asking what's going on they assumed) Well Shannon then quit that job and soon after she was receiving calls to come back. Why? Well management found out the newbie wasn't so innocent and had backwards intentions. Oh well, their loss. 

Longtime Girlfriend vs Everyone Else 
So now we reach the tale of Anthony, a friend I've known since I was about 6 years old. He meets this girl while he was away in college and brings her back to Alaska with him. She meets the family, they like her thinks shes sweet and good for him. She meets us, his friends and we weren't so sure. We see something completely different. Instead of that innocent girl, me and a few others see someone manipulative, catty and just flat out bitchy. We don't say anything at first because this is based off feelings and assumptions. Soon a couple weeks go by and the girlfriend starts her demands, pointing and yelling. She then takes Anthony away from us guarding her man and not allowing him any type of freedom. She begins to tell him, how we don't care and talk bad about her and him behind their back. He soon begins to believe her and distance himself from us. We would call Anthony and she would answer, we would leave her messages to pass on say for events, club nights, game nights, dinners, birthdays etc and for some reason Anthony would never show. He dated her for about 5 years until he realized what she was doing and caught her in the middle of a lie that unleashed many more. Soon he broke it off and came back to his real friends. 

Despite everything no matter what situation you may be in, there is always that person who will try you and press the innocent button. In these situations the best thing to do is keep your cool and let them self destruct, much like the women mentioned in this blog. Keep your distance but at the same time be that persons best friend. It's a simple case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer. 

Thursday, June 28, 2012

UGH! Damn You Disney!!!

From the time we were born and watched our little Disney movies, most girls want that princess wedding and have our prince rescue us. Becoming that Snow White, Sleeping Beauty or Bell from Beauty and The Beast is what most girls wanted to grow up as. And forget about it if our parents bought us the matching little costume dresses! After that we were guaranteed certified princesses! But then we grow up, and our choice of princes' are rare and filled with boys who wanna touch boobs and be sticky and gross. Then those boys grow  into the teenage phase were they find out their thing a lang raises and then become promiscuous. Then we have to wait a LONG LONG time for our prince to actually mature into the man we have always dreamed about. What happens when we reach this point? Well all our years of waiting have turned us towards a disbelief lifestyle. AKA all guys are douche bags stage.

Confused a little guys? Well let me explain. After all those years of being filled with false hopes of singing animals, handsome princes, and evil step sisters. We have counted on those movies to be true until we are grown up enough to realize its a bunch of mumbo jumbo.  

Ladies go through the phase of always wanting a mate and we have that mindset that we can be with one forever, but guys don't feel that way when they are young. Young means exactly that young and fun! So we will do what we do, party, chill with our boys and hit on girls. Whats wrong with that? To a girl it's all wrong, princes don't do that. and THAT'S WHERE WE ARE MESSED UP! THANK YOU PRINCESS MOVIES! 

Eventually we find our prince and become that princess but when we reach this stage there comes many battles. Both sexes are grown enough to know and understand what it takes to be with someone, but the real trick is holding on and learning that someone. You go through your honey moon stage were it's all lovey dovey, kisses, cute text messages and long night phone calls. All seems so peachy for the first couple months, then you hit around the 4th or 5th month and that's when shit gets real! You have to now begin to think if this person is worth spending more months, even years and possibly forever with. Some ladies can know this within the first couple months and some guys need more time to find that out and take it day by day. Why? Well that's how they think and to be honest I wouldn't mind being able to think this way. 

Then you hit the awkward kinda jealous over looking stage. Were we begin pay attention to the little things and make note. We notice who your female/male friends are and how much they try to talk to you (note guys: even if you tell us about a female friend we may forget a name, but we never forget a face, body language or conversation; and 9 times out of 10 that will be brought up in a conversation). This little stage can make or break people, some might think the other is being overbearing and jealous; when in reality the other person just wants to know who that female or male is, and what purpose they have in your life. Some go as far as telling the other person : "Umm they need to chill out, or they need to step back" If this is said or felt, ladies and gents don't get iffy, just think about it. Would you want another person coming all up in your business and having the possibility to ruin your relationship? This stage can last a matter of months to even years! Before all of this is sorted out. Not only do you have to figure out who other people are to you, you also weed through your friends and see which are poisonous to you and your relationship, you have to fight off and set others straight(as in whose crushing on you) and then you have to see if your mate fits into your family.  So don't get it wrong, this stage is a long process, and this process allows the two people to see if it's really worth it AKA the GROWTH PHASE.

IF you make it through that stage then you truly begin to learn and understand that person. All that time spent and talking builds allowing that bond to get stronger. That level of understanding is at an high that can only go up. At this point you set the exes straight, you kept your friends opinions out and you keep your relationship between the two of you. What now? Weill you grow and you wait to see where life's headed. You understand now not to assume and know it's open to speak with your partner about whats ahead, your fears, your faults and what bothers you. After all that you may even fall in love. Marriage? Well not necessarily, relationships are a life long process and commitment. Sometimes people grow apart despite being together for years.They may have become the best of friends but have fallen out of love. Is this bad? No at least you knew what it felt like and you are aware of what to do in the next relationship.  But since we are keeping things on the optimistic side, lets just say you fight long and hard, and you get married and it's finally your ever after. :) 

I'm definitely not a love guru or anything, just an observation. I've been around and still am around happy couples, who have been together for years and I mean decades. Some are married and some are not, does one relationship mean they love each other more? NO it  just means that works for them. Not everyone is going to be married or think its a way to go. Love is a beautiful thing, and WHEN you find it appreciate it. This blog was inspired by the ones around me, speaking knowledge and filling my head with truth as well as personal experience from my past and current relationship. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Teamwork OR Every Man For Himself ?

I find this to be fun and useful. Many places and people say lets come together and all will be ok!! So for fresh minds walking into a situation, this might sound great! Yes I am around positive people. Yes this place really does value other people and their opinions without judgement.  I finally found a secure place to sink my feet in. Whether it be about work, school, friends, or new people teamwork is essential for all. 

What happens when you join a team and all of a sudden that team work starts to look a little more like this Picture---------------->
Soon pieces of the puzzle are broken off. This could be from days to months to even years before people start to fall off.

 Why is that?

Sometimes when you get a group of people together with a bunch of opinions and attitudes things start to clash. That teamwork that was so highly talked about and praised soon turns into something like this---->

Ah the blame game! Aka when you or someone else doesn't agree on one thing, so you just randomly pick and when all goes wrong! One of you blames the other because it was their idea in the first place.  Then that team goes up in smoke and you start to do it all by your lonesome. 

How do you get back to that teamwork stage? 

Well just sit back, sometimes shut up, don't jump to conclusions, admit when you're wrong, and most importantly help one another. When you blame others, come off wrong, or assume you know something when in the end you don't YOU WILL break that team apart. It only takes ONE person to ruin everything. Whether your a manager, a friend, or a school teacher etc, when you scold someone else without knowing the facts; you really do seem well dumb. KNOW what you're talking about, HELP when needed keep your temper calm and don't make slick idle threats. When you tell a someone this is their last shot, or you have one more time, or even we will be watching you closer, why did you do this instead of that blah blah blah ;  that will not only drive them away from you, it will also make them not care about the situation at hand.  No one wants to hear the bad all the time with no mixture of good. It's all about presentation. 

Words are a key to success, communication is a definite when working with anyone in any circumstance. When you communicate you understand, then you're able to see that you aren't all the same, yes you have different opinions, your minds do in fact think differently and you all may see something different as well. When you SPEAK on that, you allow that relationship to grow. Keep an open mind and stop judging. It's so easy for people to say but A LOT harder to do.  

Help build that bridge again and you'll be smiling in the end. 

Monday, June 25, 2012

Worry Wart or People Pleaser?

Yeah... This is what eventually happens when you try to please everyone! 

Happy Monday!!!!  Here we are again, after hopefully having a great weekend we are all back at work, in class etc. Staring at the calendar I can't help but be glad to see there are only 4 more days until my love (FRIDAY) is back in my life! So what comes of working and school and family/friends to a person who has it set in their mind that they have to please, smile and be happy all the time for people??? Well look at the picture above!

Hello my Worry Warts! My People Pleasers!! How are you doing today? One of my friends is a people pleaser she admits that she has this weakness for people and trying to make them happy and do every task that is given or even brought to her. Yes she could say NO but like many of you out there you don't want to say NO. Some of you (much like my lovely friend) don't like to disappoint people and tend to take on much more than you should.

I can't lie, I USED to do that and it drove me insane!! I used to be that way, tried to be perfect and live up to peoples expectations and standards. Then I came to the conclusion: "Why aren't they living up to their standards of how I perceive them? Why is it just one sided?" Noticing that people call when I'm needed and think that I am available 24/7 to help was the biggest mistake I could have ever done in m life, not just with friends/family but also professionally.

With family and friends, we tend to get taken advantage of because they already deem you as that type they can always count on and will never say no. Then as for a job they called on me all the time because I helped once; and helping in that one situation made them believe I can help in ALL situations like it; despite how busy I am and what I'm  doing. Then when it came time for me to call on my  co-workers  and ask for help in a situation they were no where to be found until Monday morning.  What do I do? That's all I kept thinking, then I treated those people like they do me. My work I kept professional, didn't converse on personal issues and when they called after hours or on weekends, I answered but said "no, I'm preoccupied sorry" and when I was able to help I did go in, but kept it at a minimum. They can use the 10-20 other people in the business to help in those hours, mine are strictly 8-5p Mon-Fri. My family and friends well I just told them off and everything is ok, they apologized and life is good.

Standards, you have to have them, don't just allow other people to hold you up to theirs, make sure to hold others up to yours also. If  you have a  fear of letting someone down, get over that. You are a human being not a robot or some character in a Hollywood movie. It's ok to say no when you have to much on your plate and it's ok to say yes if you honestly feel like you can do that task to the best of your ability. Be conscious on what you do, have timing, and know your schedule and have a back bone. Regardless of what you do, people are always going to have their thoughts good an bad despite your work ethic.

So my loves stop over doing it, stress is an ugly thing and we have to try our best to not allow ourselves to be placed in those situations. I know it's tough, I've been recently in stressful situations but I look at the bright side of things and ultimately feel sorry for some people who try to stress me out and/or make me worry about situations that I could careless about. I'm very busy so to allow a single person to have that type of effect on me, isn't worth my health and time..


Friday, June 22, 2012

Beautiful Alaska

See Alaska and I... we have this love hate type of relationship, winter time we seem to do nothing but fight and bicker but when the so sweet summer comes my way, I can't help but fall right back in love.  You see people complain about Alaska and say " isn't there snow 24/7?" "do you have a pet polar bear?"  OR now my recent favorite, "what's Sara Palin really like??"  People make me laugh with the things they really believe goes on here. So to answer these questions " no there is not snow 24/7" and "no I don't own a polar bear he was shot down for protecting our pet penguins" and "I have no idea how Sara Palin really is, never met her."

Many people from Alaska get irritated by the simple questions and I have to keep reminding people that I know and myself at times, don't blame them for what they know; it's not like  education on how Alaska really is, is being taught. I mean I've lived here all my life and in high school my senior year I had to take Alaska studies, and passed with flying colors!!!! (Found that class to be quite insulting)

Alaska has your winters, falls, springs, and summers that will melt your heart and make you  fall in love with the scenery. I love every other season and winters on occasion (mainly on Christmas and New Years Eve) :D
When I travel out of state and show my ID, people stare at it for a good minute or so. In my mind I'm preparing myself to hear whatever outlandish questions they may want to ask; 9 times out of 10 the questions make me giggle.

One time in Seattle aka my second home, this cab driver asked me "if there really are 30 days of night like the movie and do vampires really come out???" This cashier at Macy's asked me: "there really are black people in Alaska?" then as I walk into a bar with my lovely sister buy a drink the bar tender asks: "are you in witness protection? I mean why else would you be there?"

Sigh**** I love it all in all. The things others come up with are always fresh and new it makes me appreciate how I was brought up.

Anywho today will be reaching in the mid 70's and the sun is blazing outside, soon as it's time to get off work I will be MIA  getting lost in the AK weather with the bf. You guy have a fantastic weekend!!!!!

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Freedom Of Choice

My boyfriend was watching this show that kept him up late last night. It was about love and the freedom to choose. It went around following different stories and blurting out facts. Apparently the people who are in prearranged  marriages, are the ones who have the highest success rate. The program went on to say countries like Kenya, India etc that have prearranged marriages last for a long time if not a life time.

Why is that?

My opinion is because for some countries that recommend or demand that type of life, makes people work through the tough times. Learn to love the other person for ALL their faults and keep at it. Unlike here in the U.S. we have the free will to leave a person at any moment in time. With this option, I think is why our divorce rate is so high. We allow ourselves the possibility of not having a forever and when situations get really tough many people run instead of fighting through the tough long storm.

I've met this student from India she had a prearranged marriage and was set to marry at 16 years old from India. She was auctioned off when she was a kid by her parents who would come into a large lump sum of money if they agreed; and being in their position they took that chance. I'll always remember speaking with her, here is one of our last conversations:

"So how was it? Growing up knowing you don't have that choice to choose and it's already planned?"

"Well in my country it wasn't a big deal, and that's how we grew up" her accent is so thick I loved every moment of it. "Yes 16 is pretty young, we are 21 now, and I must admit we are more in love than ever. In a couple years we'll probably have kids and change a little of our countries rules." she giggled and turned to the side

"What do you mean by changing the rules?" I asked

"Well prearranged marriages are great because it's one less hassle with the billions of people in the world. Being in it makes you love someone and grow to love them. Most of my friends back home really do love their wives and husbands and my other friends say they found a best friend. Now they might not be drastically in love with them, but it's love and it's better than being lonely. As for our kids I would like them to choose, if they want a prearranged marriage or to pick themselves."

I have some family members from India and other countries that do follow these guidelines so hearing what she thought intrigued me and let me inside those of my cousins and family I've never met. She went on to say:

"See here in America, it is beautiful they say the land of the free. But it's only free to those who have pale skin. For us foreigners it's less than free. It's amazing how a country can speak on such things when they don't practice what they stand for. How free can you be knowing that the people who run this country are the true immigrants. This wasn't white mans land they just took it over by force and they keep doing so because now there are to many to stop. Americas' want you to believe you are free, but in reality you're only as free as they let you. I loved going to school here, learning and seeing your kind be. Even though in parts of my country they don't like women and respect us, I'd rather be there than here." 

Confusing me a little I asked her why be some place to where you know they don't value you?

She said: "Because it's in front of your face and not being your back. This country is sneaky and will turn it's back on it's own kind while smiling, mine will let you know regardless." 

We hugged and I went to my Psychology class as she waited for the bus. Her words will always be fresh in my mind even 3 years later. I know she's probably back in India by now, I wish we would've kept in contact. But what she taught me in a matter of 20 minutes was more knowledge than I've ever received in a class room. 

Freedom of Choice, it's yours to pick what dreams and goals you'll achieve, who you will love forever, what job you'll take, and how you turn out is all freedom of choice. For some people it's not free it's predestined; from talking with her a good majority like these customs.

Since we don't have it this way, we have to fend for ourselves and pick and pray we chose right. I have my freedom and we as people have the right to do, say, write, think, believe, feel and act as  we please. Someone can have an opinion on it and think something of it, and I wont be mad, you're entitled to your opinion. But for me, I'm entitled to do as I want and will continue this way because it's my custom and what I know.Being threatened by man and put into ultimatums will not work well for me or others like me. It will only back fire to those who spit those words. It's my freedom,my constitutional right, my right as a person to do so. Take you're freedom, whether it be with love or options; it's up to you. Just remember others don't have that freedom.

What's Your Freedom?

Thanks babe :)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Always be You

"You shouldn't just be subjective to one thing, thought, or saying. Allowing others to deprive you of your knowledge and outbursts is so self containing, that's why people go crazy."- Travis Edmonton

Lately I've been getting a lot of requests to write about some topics. This current post is a request from a fellow colleague I went to school with at the Art Institute (oh how I miss the level of complex minds)

He said: "Ebony, when do we (as people and creative thinkers) know when enough is enough and when to hush up?"

Travis said he reads these posts daily or whenever I post them, so he read the one that said When is enough enough, but wanted me to elaborate more on that subject. So here is my response:

"Travis, to be honest I don't really know when it's time to hush up. Why? Because I will never do that, it's against who I am and what I do and what I stand for. I cannot be that subjective person and I will never be. My father would be ashamed of me and then my friends wouldn't know who I am if I do so. So with that being said, there is no point to where one knows, they have a feeling but regardless people say and do as they please and people cannot change that independence in someone. Hell we went to the same college you know how vocal they are there"

Travis laughed and agreed, he then went on to tell me how things are different for him now and he feels confined and asked what would I do if I was in that situation.

"I said leave the situation, no matter what it brings or has to offer in the end if you are not happy with yourself the amount of money can't make up for the deep sorrow your soul feels. You aren't alone in this topic Travis, I'm in the same boat feeling a little constricted in this matter but I am choosing to leave. It will be a sad departure but when you're not happy things have to change. YOU are in charge of your own happiness"

Travis: " This is why I miss AIS Can't have convo's like this anymore"

The conversation went deeper and longer into our minds and what's really going on, and in the end we felt free and back to normal. Someone will ALWAYS try to shut you up and hold you down, You just got to be strong enough to say " I'm me take it or leave it"

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Constructive Criticism vs Being Rude

Constructive criticism is touchy, it can be taken one of two ways either you smile and truthfully understand the person and not get defensive OR you can be like a majority of us who say F you, you know nothing! And go about your day .... Honestly there's nothing wrong with doing a little of both. You're entitled to your reaction and feelings.

How do I take it? Well I'm a naturally self defensive person. I've been through a lot with people especially in my line of work to where you have to have a guard up and not think everyone is your friend. For me most people try to give me "advice" or "help" fully knowing if I take it I will crash and burn in my career. So to answer your questions how do I deal? I listen and smile and if I feel like that person is a complete douche and knows nothing I'll voice my opinion on that.

There's a fine line between constructive criticism and being rude. Watch you're tone, body language, and subject. Make sure you're talking with respect, don't have your hands on your hips or folded across your chest, and make sure if you approach someone on their field you have knowledge in it and have supporting documents to back you up (otherwise you'll sound like a dumb ass)

Watch what you say and how you say it. You would never want those words to come back to you. :)!

*This blog has been edited to fit the comforts of others

Friday, June 15, 2012

When is enough, enough?

Face it, we ALL put up with crap, from work, family, friends significant others and even ourselves. So why do we beat up  ourselves when we know this fact? Even those who say "they don't care" or "it doesn't matter" really honestly care. If you didn't then why keep saying you don't care or try so hard to show others your so laid back?  If we didn't care as humans than we wouldn't try to clean up ourselves, get jobs, have friends or even speak to family.

What happens when you're that person whose getting picked on and pressured to think a certain way? Not talking about school like bulling but more on a adult level. For example:

Your boss accuses you of not doing your job (when you do a great job at it) they assume that you sit there all day and take it upon themselves to start doing your work. How do you react by having something taken from under you? When upper management starts looking and realizing that : hmmm well the manager is doing their work, do they really need to work here? Then What?

Not a good example? How about this one:

You're brother or sister wants to borrow money but you don't have enough and say you can't. Then they turn around and use the guilt trip or try to bring up the past to where you would give it up. What do you say?

Then you have the significant other whose main pressure is T I M E. Yes that four letter word that makes some men cringe and what most females hang onto to. You have plans with friends but they want to see you bad, you say you can't then they want to guilt trip you. So now your in the middle, love or friends? OR They constantly want your time (which isn't a bad thing) and when you follow through on your NO and shit hits the fan, how do you deal with the temper tantrums?

Or how about my favorite example:

You're home boy/girl calls you up, talks a great talk to you for about 5 minutes and then out of no where asks for money, a ride or even going as far as asking you to "hold"*  something for them. You're thoughts start to stir up and you sit back and wonder why would they ask this? You know not to give friends these things because when they reply "I will pay you back" or "I owe you one" some people hold onto that when knowingly they won't ever see it again. Then what do you say? That's your homie right?

Pressure, it never stops just because you're out of high school, it only gets worse when you get older. Now you have to use your noggin, think and try to understand before you speak. What happens when these situations keep coming up over and over again?

When is enough, enough?

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Don't Blame Guys For Assuming You'll Give It Up, It's All About Presentation

Sometimes I want to poke my eyes out with a very sharp stick!!! Some of the things my fellow females do to get attention is amazingly idiotic! Yes honey, those things are getting you attention but in the wrong way. I have this girlfriend who always complains about never meeting a guy and they only want to bing bang and never do anything else and blah blah blah. FINALLY after awhile of hearing this nonsense I decided to tell her what I think the reason is. She was kinda uneasy and hurt by what I said but who cares, if your my friend you can take a few blows of honesty just as well as you can dish them out.

The conversation went a little like this:

Her: "Man guys suck ****! They want my number and when they get it they insist on wanting to ****! are you serious! Do I seem like that type of girl?? Like honesty Eb!"

Me: "Yes"

Her: "Umm,explain"

Me: " First of all my love you give up the digits to fast! Not every guy (or any guy) you meet in a club wants something worth keeping! The point of a club is to have a good NIGHT KEY LETTER (A)...NOT a good night and weekends or months after! Then it's how you dress, you wear really tight, short dress, cleavage hanging out till kingdom come and tons of make up on your face, and have a mouth of a sailor. That screams! Love me for the night! Not love me for a lifetime. No one wants a female who shows all her goodies at first glance to be wifey. He may call you that in the bedroom but in public he's calling you something else."

After that, her face dropped and she stared at my non emotional face for about five minutes before breaking the awkward silence. Then she says:

Her: "Well I guess, but when we go out you don't get guys coming up to you why is that?"

Me:" Well young grasshopper, I get guys that come up to me but it's in a different way. They come up to tell me I look good and go about their business, I don't get grabbed on and talked to crazy by dudes because I don't present myself that way. I don't wear make up, (mainly because I don't know how to do it) and I don't dress scandalous because I think it's nasty. A lot of girls and no offense your one of them get classy and sexy confused with gross. I've told you this before and at times I won't go out with you because you dress like that, am I right?"

Her: "Yes"

Me: "Ok then, I'm not being mean, I just don't like to surround myself with those type of females, and you are one of my best ones so I hate to see you do that to yourself; but at the same time, you're grown and I can't stop you. Regardless I love you and I'm here for you, but pick your head up and be patient. Stop rushing into things are trying to make something out of nothing."

Her: "Thanks girl,well I'm gonna go to bed."

Me: "Alright, night"

End of conversation! and NO this is not made up and YES this is a real person I know and she agreed to let me talk about this today. It's an observation I've seen with people I know and the ones I don't. The slim ball guys that grab and approach females all disrespectful like, cursing referring to them as "HEY GIRL, YO MA!, AYE SHAWTY!" Instead of "Excuse Me, Can I talk you you for a sec?, Let me buy you a drink"  is what attracts the prettiest ones! Because a majority of those pretty girls are so self conscious and desperate for attention they look in the wrong places.

This is a topic that's not going to change or go away because frankly you will always have a female like Kat Stacks whose willing to do what she does and be proud of it. Just stop being surprised when you run into dumb asses in the club who just want to hit ladies; what else are they going to want to do at 2 am? Sit have coffee and watch movies? Get out of here. Don't blame guys for thinking this way, when they can and some even DO get it from a female doesn't have to be you necessarily.

My friend read this before  I posted it :) 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Reality TV... Where is the Reality?

Ah, soo from grease balls, glorifying teen pregnancy, giving lame celebrities a LAST CHANCE OF FAME while being on a rehab show to the dating shows, reality TV is nothing but scripted.

I don't watch reality TV shows a lot, I will admit I got sucked into Jersey Shore but only for the first season, Some times I watch Basketball Wives for the mere amusement of watching females argue about pointless crap and guess what NONE OF THEM ARE EVEN MARRIED TO BBALL PLAYERS!!! Because the real women who are married to the players are to busy keeping their private life separate. They should change the name to Basketball Exes; and Now Bristol Palin has a reality show. 

I won't watch this one at all, I didn't even bother to tune into the show the Palin family had in the first place. Now you may ask why? Your from Alaska Ebony why wont you watch them?!!??! Ummm because my life is not lame and never consisted of the Palin's in the first place to care about what they do outside of the government. I hardly cared when she was Governor in the first place, so to allow her to take up space in my DVR and consume my brain with accents and guns while making a fool of yourself by not even knowing the amendments..... no thank you... 

There are a lot of interesting people that I wouldn't mind watching on TV. My sister used to be hooked on Real World and Road Rules, now I believe she likes Big Brother ( I don't get that show). Me I would watch something that had to do more with music and real artists not wanna be's or people trying to come back. Show me something from the producers and song writers point of view, after all what is an artist without those people anyway. Perfect example of a good reality show TRUE LIFE on MTV. Keep reality TV just that a reality not fictional and more people might be prone to watch it; and for goodness sake bring back the real MTV or at least change the call letters to RTV (Reality TV) or BSTV ( I think you know what I mean by that). 

Friday, June 8, 2012

I Love You Too?

We all have (or at some time will) be in a relationship to where I love you is said. Whether it be in the stages of puppy love or full blow out grown up love. So when is the right time to say those three little words that make most of society cringe? I asked some people when is the right time to say I love you and here are the top three answers: Some people say when you been with someone for a while and get to know them, others say it's just when you have a feeling in your tummy (but I call those butterflies) and someone else said, I don't know man I guess you just know.

All three responses are not wrong because obviously that's how some people think. What do I think? Well I have NO IDEA when the "right" time is to say those little words. All I can say is, do it when you want too and not because someone else said it. WHICH brings me to the topic at hand.

DO you say I Love You because someone else said it? To my surprise a lot of people have or are saying it in these terms. I'm not going to lie, I am also guilty at that, saying I love you when someone else has said it because I feel obligated too! Not because I want too!! I'm a firm believer in the sole fact of not having to say I love you all the damn time to prove you love someone.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not a prude or anything I love Love! And I love the feeling of it and being held and all that gooshy crap. But I also like my space, at times not to be touched and kissed and yes I love not having to say I love you just because someone else says it.

But Ebony!! What if he or she gets mad because I didn't say it back?? Well then my darlings it's their fault tough shit. Some people think that it should be automatic and that when they say it the OTHER has too! But I"m here to say no you don't, not necessarily. I dated this one guy for a short time, dude said those words to me and I jumped ship, why? Because he didn't know a damn thing about me. I've come to the conclusion that those three words can make someones world or ruin it! lol not to be mean just something I've noticed and seen it rip apart people relationships.

Sometimes I love you is premature and makes others try to live up to it, other times its LONG over due and by the time you say it the other person gets mad and irritable that it took you so long, then you have those right moments when it's said and doves fly in the air and an orchestra is playing. We all want that orchestra, not the anger or the OMG what do I do response.

So when is the right time to say I love you? You be the judge I gave my two cents.

The "someone" I speak on for today's topic is not my current boyfriend just an FYI :) 

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Life Long Commitments!

I'm all smiles today!!! no sarcastic rants and raves with a hint of humor. I seriously woke up very happy! As I log into my Facebook, I see another one of my friends crying in a picture with a beautiful ring on her finger. That brings my total of friends getting engaged in the past month to 5! and the number of my lovelies have babies to 3!!

Life brings along so many what if's, drama, and troubles; it's beautiful to see people (especially when I know them) make that commitment! Jump the broom, tie the ol knot a roo!!! Speaking of weddings I have one to go to this Saturday!!!

All I can say is, Congrats to my friends for their new adventures and may God be with you all in every single step of the way!!!

Kinda a twist for today huh? I know I know, don't worry I'll be back into my sarcastic ways tomorrow :) 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Hip Hop Didn't Die! It's Taking a Nap

Friends of mine, many of you claim that "hip hop is dead". Nas, Biggie, Tupac, Run DMC, Naughty by Nature etc those are real lyrical kings. So what is going on now a days? Well we still have music and musicians, sure the rap game is being taken over by the Nicki Manajis', Drakes' and Lil Waynes', so where did everyone else go??? Those names are the "faces: of hip hop"! :-/ UGH!

Let me correct you for a second dear friend of mine. They aren't the faces of hip hop, they are simply the mere faces that are willing to be industry and there fore are shown on a broad spectrum. Hip Hop didn't die, it's just hiding and ashamed to come out because it's been industrialized. Do you know what that means? It means it's been taken out of its natural habitat, the gritty tough love words that flow with lyrical eloquence, and the story telling subdues people so much that every race nods their head and chants their name.  Has been tucked away and replaced by auto-tune, barbie style rapping with a mix of techno electronic beats. They want Pop style crap! Why? because it sells now more than the tough shit that it used to be. 

Some people are tired of hearing other peoples pain and drowning their sorrow in the rhythmical beats of hard hitting 808's. They don't want the hood to be shown through music anymore, because it glorifies that life and gives them an outlet to society! Let's be real! "SOME" people didn't like that in the first place soooo they decided to flip the script, give real hip hop and rap a decade plus some aka 80's to mid 90's; now its time for happy and fictional crap! So why not rap about Starships? Lollipops? or letting people know you know how to spell in almost everyone of your songs? 

There are plenty of artists out there and upcoming that are real to music not just hip hop. Most of the people I take time to listen to are underground, on YouTube, on or even in my state. Hip Hop didn't die, it's just preparing itself for when it's done taking a nap the music "hip hop" nation will be restored. I do miss turning on my radio and hearing some real music and listening to my favorites; but I'll continue to blast my iPod with some of my favs like  Eve, Rah Digga, Nas,Yelawolf, Common and a few more. Some of my not so famous artist's include K'La, Mally and the Sundance Kid and Kid Ink just to name a few. And Thanks to my boyfriend I can add my new found favs Yukmouth and Mac Dre to my playlist.

Even for the people who post all their music on my Facebook wall, i listen to EVERYTHING that's posted! I'm a Radio DJ I am IN LOVE WITH MUSIC, so don't worry I listen to it, some of ya'll aren't good and some of ya'll are awesome, either way it gets my attention, different styles and all. 

It's there! The real hip hop lovers know this and aren't worried about it "dying" it may not be publicly out there but seriously, real hip hop never dies. Just do some research and stop complaining, drown your thoughts in the rhythmic sounds of music and wait patiently.