Thursday, March 1, 2018

The Lesson of Appreciation

You know, for so many years I've been a little jealous of those who knew how to appreciate things. It may sound silly, but whether you're a person who appreciates friends, family, current situations, the ups, the downs and everything in between; I was jealous of you. Here I am someone who was always on the go. I always had my future and where I wanted to be in my mind. In every state I lived, at every job I was blessed to have, I always wanted the next best thing. Problem with that is, that I was missing some of the best things in the moment.

I never sat and truly thought about why God brought me to a certain place at a certain time. 

I don't know why that was what it was. It maybe because I already knew where I was going to be and what I was going to do. It might have been my inability to be happy knowing that better was out there. It could have been that I simply was unappreciative. Which my friend, is true, I was very unappreciative. I now look back at all that I've done and I'm proud of my achievements, but I'm not proud of the fun that I missed.

I was so focused on working, going to school, making sure that everything was lined up that I missed out on key events of certain friendships. I decided to work very hard and to make sure my shows were top in the market. I decided to put out one book after another and write two more that I have yet to release instead of, going to a club and being able to share that "inside joke". I decided to be submerged in my writing of scripts that I missed out on drunken nights that wouldn't have been remembered the next day.

Although I do love where I'm at and what I sacrificed to get here; I do wish that I lived in the moment at certain times. This has taught me to love and appreciate all those around me right now. Because of what I missed out on, this has taught me how to be a better friend. Because of how far I've come, this has taught me that taking a break isn't a bad thing. After all, what a good friend told me makes perfect sense:

What God has for you will forever be yours. 

So although I'm a little sad that I missed certain things, I'm also proud of how it's helped me be who I am today. My hope for you is that as you chase those dreams, as you decide to follow your heart that you also love where you're at. I hope that you take a seat, a real seat, and look around you. I hope that you look at your friends and family and love them. I hope that you give yourself a break and live every once and awhile. I hope that you love life even when you're struggling to get to your destiny.

You will make it to your dreams, why not have a little fun on the way? 

<3 Ebony

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Happy Valentine's Day!

Why hello love!

I know, I know, today is Valentine's Day and for most of us singles it's a day we dread. A day where we're reminded that we're single, that no one will buy us flowers and candies or take us out for dinner. But you know what? I love Valentine's Day and I'm always single on V-Day and here's why.

Everyone else is happy! I run into plenty of people who are hopeless romantics and who are in relationships and they're smiling and say HI! Even though, I'm not among the blessed few to have someone like them enough to be in a relationship, I am however part of the few who love the idea of love.

So if you're a bitter Betty and hate this day just because you're single, please look in your heart and know that you are loved. It might not be from a significant other, but it's from your family and friends.

<3 Ebony

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Love Yourself

As I'm on my growth journey in Christ and in life, I've read countless times in books, articles, blogs, watched in sermons and motivational speeches a key part in a lot of people's success. Something I learned and wanted to share with you, it's pretty easy to say, but so hard for some of us to do. Are you ready? Here's one key to the happiness....

Love yourself...

Seems easy right? Well, a few years back, when I was living in Texas, I started my re-commitment to God. In that came an extensive amount of reading material, hence why it's easy for me to read and retain a new book a week. Love yourself, of course we love ourselves, but do we
 Forgive ourselves?
You see, personally, I wasn't struggling with loving myself, I was struggling with forgiving myself. I love me, but at times I hate the things I've done, the words I've said, the people I've hurt, the things I've done and said to myself. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Man, if only there was a legit answer for that question. 

So I did some digging a few years back. It required me to be in total isolation, which was perfect because I just moved to a new state so being alone during that time was a piece of cake. What I wasn't ready for were the layers that God would reveal to me about myself. I wasn't ready to relive my pain or hurts but I had to in order to learn forgiveness. I wasn't ready to see my mirror that was dirty because when you grow out of who you were, why do you want to see the dirt again? Most importantly, I wasn't ready to be alone. 
But God needed me for himself.

It was a deep therapy session with God and a real therapy group that helped shape me into this woman I am today. When I was visiting my sister in Seattle, I met with an old "friend" when I was listening to him, I realized why he's meant to stay in the past. That's when I came into this very important lesson. 

Not everyone you lose contact with is meant to be in your present life. 

I was listening to him tell me how I used to be. Question why I don't think certain things are humorous (because they were very childlike) how I wasn't able to do this and do that and etc. The question I asked myself during that dinner, was why in the hell am I sitting here with someone who clearly has not grown? What makes it worse, he's almost ten years older than me. 

In the process of loving myself, finding myself and doing everything possible to get closer to God, I'm starting to understand not only my purpose but that people truly do have seasons. I'm okay with the seasons that we shared. I'm okay with randomly thinking of a memory and praying for that person who was a friend at one time. I'm okay with that. It's obvious that we're I'm at now and where I'm going, those seasons are not meant to be carried over. 

It took a while for me to see that, holding onto people and things that I needed to let be. The moment I realized that it is what it is and I loved what it was, is the moment I started to love and truly appreciate the three friendships that I have now. I mean true friends, not acquaintances, not co-workers, real genuine friendships. 

I became more in love with life, God and Myself when I learned to 
Love Myself for all that I am. It allowed me to love others for who they are.

<3 Ebony 

Sunday, January 14, 2018


First blog of the new year! I've been struggling on what to share with you. There' s been so much going on, that I haven't a clue on where to start. So, as I sit here thinking about some things, going over past conversations and listening to some sermons, I came up with the perfect blog.


Many of us claim to have it.  While those who lose it also lose site of their dreams. Do you know how many people stop chasing their dreams because they have no confidence that it'll happen for them? The very thought of that makes me sad. What also makes me said is the old saying that the richest place in the world is the graveyard. Imagine all the inventions and ideas that were buried with the person who thought it because they never had the confidence to pursue it.

As we're going into the new year, I pray that you have so much confidence that the devil runs away from you. My hope is that you will start that business, chase that dream, tell that person that you love them, go back to school, make amends with those that hurt you, forgive, love yourself, and most importantly live your life.

Life is short, so make the most of it

When I rediscovered my confidence, I truly became unstoppable. I was already in a place to where great things were happening for me, but with confidence it actually happened. For me confidence in myself is great but confidence in Papa (God) is much more important. Knowing that he will provide and living a life that proves that you trust him is hard. Hence why I took that leap, dropped all I was known for and moved to where my heart has always been.

The road you choose will never be easy. No matter if you decide to play it safe or decide to go balls to the walls with it. Seeing how it's not easy on either path, wouldn't you want to choose the one that tugs at your heart? The one that you've so desperately wanted to do? That path that deep down makes you excited with the endless possibilities when it comes to using your talent? I know I would.

Let's have an amazing 2018. Many of you email me or direct message me on social media for prayers, don't be afraid to keep contacting me. I love praying for and with you, we can get through this thing called life together.

<3 Ebony

Saturday, December 30, 2017

Goodbye 2017

Oh what a year 2017 was. It was full of self discovery. Full of  me pushing my limits. Full of me doing what we all should do, taking time to love yourself.

I have no complaints for 2017. I kicked ass in radio yet again, I have ratings to prove so. I learned to love and let it go. I've learned to love my body and be comfortable with every scar, bump, fat bulge and more. Most importantly 2017 was the year when I finally decided to say fuck you to what others want for me and HELLO to what I wanted for me.

You only live once, so live for you. 

I've realized that I am a badass and no one should be able to tell me otherwise. I've seen my faults and that I'm really harsh not just on myself but on those that I love. I'm silent with my judgement but boy was I judgmental! I've learned to truly forgive and the power that it holds to let go and chose to love instead.

I've taken my mirror and looked at the dirty reflection and
 loved the process of cleaning it up. 

I took the giant leap of faith and moved to Los Angels. It was a plan well in the mix when I was six years old and told my dad where I was going to live. As of March 2017 it became a reality and it finally happened in August 2017. When God says move you move! I took all my signs, my prayers, meditations and everything else that came with this journey and sold all my stuff and hit the road.

2017 was all about me and I have no apologizes for it. 

2018 will be all about my power and what God will use me for. I have a great feeling about next year. I'll leave it at that because some things are better left unsaid.

<3 Ebony